


Resetter

by kurushi



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, High School, Mistaken Identity, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-04-28 15:01:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5095022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurushi/pseuds/kurushi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's no such thing as a re-set button, right? The physics are impossible!</p>
<p>But there's a button in Megamind's secret evil lair, and it could mean a second chance for Bernard, herself, Metro Man, and Metro City itself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Evil Lair

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thank-you to my brilliant beta, HaydenXCharm. Any remaining errors are my own!
> 
> This story is intended to fork from the film during the scene in which Roxanne breaks into the Evil Lair. I really wanted to explore three things. What if the gun had never mis-fired, and Hal hadn't become Titan? What was all that about a reset button? What would Roxanne do, if she discovered she could have been there for Bernard?
> 
> I haven't read the comics, but I have seen a couple of panels online. Some of the details from the comic, including Metro Dude's name, going to the Prom, and Megamind writing an article for the paper, gave me this idea. I hope I haven't mangled what the comics were too badly!
> 
> AO3 note: I have been struggling to format and post this since May, I hope to tidy it up slowly in the future.

**Previously in Megamind:**

 

Metro Man has been burned to a cinder, and Metro City is at Megamind's mercy. Ruling a city wasn't all it's cracked up to be, however, and Megamind fell into melancholy. A chance meeting – in disguise as Bernard, an archivist and museum curator – with Roxanne Ritchi lead to sudden inspiration. Every villain needs a hero, right? And heroes  _ can _ be made!

 

But what about Roxanne Ritchi? “Bernard” wasn't the only person inspired that night...

 

 

**Resetter 1: The Evil Lair**

 

She'd been prepared to scour the city. Utility maps. Traffic disruptions. Plotting her various abduction sites on big maps that she needed to unfold across the entire open-plan office floor. It was going to be her project. Something that was safe enough to calm her racing heartbeat. Something that was still _doing_ something, because the alternative to _doing_ was _not doing_ , and she refused to give up on her city.

 

All it had taken was a trip up Metro Tower to take an establishment shot that swept across the city, for her to realise how simple she'd been. That fake observatory had been open to the sky. They'd had a clear line of sight to the real abandoned observatory. Metro Man's skeleton had arced in a neat, direct path from the explosion, to land on top of Megamind.

 

“It's near the edge of the industrial district,” she breathed.

 

“Huh?” Hal wasn't the most attentive of coworkers. At least, not when it related to the job at hand. “Hey Roxy, wanna’ grab lunch up here? We could ride the lift to the external observation deck. I hear it's pretty romantic up there.”

 

“Not now, Hal,” she said. Her eyes were scanning, but the clouds were so thick that she couldn't see clearly enough. No matter. They could do a drive-by; there couldn't be that many buildings in the area that would fit the requirements.

 

When she drove past it, she nearly choked on her own laughter. “I mean, honestly! Are they low on cash? Did _evil_ forget to steal some cladding, or corrugated iron, or space-filler when they raided the hardware store for all that wood?”

 

“You gotta admit, it's pretty dorky. Now if _I_ was a super villain, you'd never hear me telling all my evil plans or making a lair so easy to find.” Hal was earnest instead of creepy, which was a nice change. He liked reciting the _Evil Overlord List_ and mocking Megamind's breaches of it. As creepy as he was at times, at least Hal was a laugh every now and then. With a very big interval between the now and the then.

 

“I bet,” Roxanne said. She didn't have time for the list; she was on the story. “Hey, can you get the camera out? Get some good external shots. I'm going to go take a look around.” She drove through the rusty gates and into the empty yard. She shoved her hands in her pockets and walked around. The shade, the gravel, and the bricks gave the air a cool feeling. Her skin recognised it like an old friend.

 

“So, this is what this place looks like. I wonder how many times I've been here.”

 

Hal didn't reply. He was head-deep in the van, and Roxanne felt frustrated. Sometimes it seemed like she was just talking to herself whenever she was with Hal. He wasn't a great listener. Their conversations didn't inspire her very much. It was the curse of being a reporter. You _wanted_ to share the news with somebody right away, but you had to _sit_ on it until the copy was polished and the footage was cut together right. There wasn't really anybody she trusted enough that she could talk to.

 

Or was there? _Bernard_. Immediately, her hand was in her pocket, flipping open her phone, navigating her contacts list. It rang and rang, and as she waited, she walked around a bit more, taking in the truly apathetic atmosphere. Apparently villains didn't weed or fight off wandering graffiti artists. She supposed that going out to yell at the kids to get off of your lawn - well, crumbling asphalt - was a bit counter-productive. First, it gave away the secret. Secondly, it discouraged chaos and mayhem.

 

“Ollo,” Bernard said when he picked up.

 

She smiled. He was a quirky one. It hadn't taken long for his voice to sound like that of an old friend.

 

“I mean, hello.” He sounded really pleased to hear from her. She wondered if he had recognised her voice.

 

“Bernard, it's Roxanne. I just wanted to thank you for inspiring me the other day.” Without him, she wouldn't be where she was, reading the graffiti on a red brick wall.

 

“Oh,” he sounded gentle, surprised. “You inspired me too.”

 

“Great!” She _kne_ _w_ that he’d support her. That was what could make Metro City more powerful than Metro Man, than Megamind himself: their ability to work together as a team. “It's time we stood up to Megamind and show him he can't push us around.”

 

“Oh? Oh, really?” He was a bit too smooth. She wasn't sure if he was being interested, or just condescending. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he was being a jerk, well, he'd be completely floored by her news.

 

“I'm already hot on his trail.”

 

“Ahuh, and what gives you that idea?” Seriously? He might have been a scholar, and one with biting wit at that, but ugh. She'd show him.

 

“I just found his secret hideout.” She grinned and kept looking around. She couldn't see any cameras, so she was probably flying completely under Megamind's radar.

 

“ _HOW DID SHE FIND MY HIDEOUT?!”_ What an odd thing for Bernard to say. He sounded... scared? Maybe he’d been so surprised that he’d had a slip of the tongue. “Ah, how did you find his hideout?”

 

Oh, oh right. That made more sense. He was in shock and awe at her skills. He was probably impressed, or maybe even worried for her. She'd be the same if the shoe was on the other foot.

 

“This is the only building in Metro City with a fake observatory on the roof.” She was clever. She'd figured it out. She was kicking butt and taking names. And what was that by her foot? “Hoooh! there's a doormat here that says Secrit Entrance!”

 

‘Secrit Entrance’, huh? Roxanne had seen some _weird_ things in her day. She reached a hand out, and, _there_. It was a hologram! Oh, shewas _in_. She moved slowly down the dark hallway, taking it all in. Concrete and brick. Table of... dynamite? He must have had some leftovers from that bomb at the museum. Poor Bernard, losing his life's work. She hoped it was insured and that the banks would re-open, and at least that he'd get back-pay. At least KMCP was still covering her paychecks. As long as she paid for everything with her access card and didn't need any cash, she'd get by.

 

To be honest, she was more interested in sneaking around than in whatever Bernard was babbling about.

 

“You dim-witted creation of science!” Okay, that was odd.

 

“What?” She couldn't imagine what he meant by that.

 

“What? Oh, no, not you, Roxanne. No, I was just yelling at my... mother's urn. Don't do anything, I'll be right there.”

 

His mother's urn. Riiiiiight. Well, no sense waiting around. It was time to get down to work. It made sense. Kind of. What was _more_ important, right then, was how the corridor opened up, and that she could see the whole warehouse. It was a factory floor, full of Megamind's inventions and plans. It was impressive. She felt a chill run down her spine, and it wasn't just from the damp. She'd seen his inventions one at a time. She'd known he'd _need_ to have some kind of huge workshop, to make them. Logically, sometimes, more than one robot would be in that place at the same time. But to see all the _junk_ he had lying around, all the half-finished projects, it was kind of amazing.

 

It was like Disneyland, without the safety testing. It was hard to tell where the domestic ended and the mad scientist began. She could pick out a washing machine and a dryer, a toaster, and a forgotten cold cup of coffee.

 

The red curtains, now, they intrigued her. A whole, huge, open-plan playground of evil, and he felt the need to _hide_ something? That had to be where the interesting things were.

 

“Roxanne?”

 

Oh god. Megamind was behind her! She spun, shrieking, to find... Bernard. “Oh! I'm glad you're here. Wait, how did you get here so fast?”

 

“Well, I happened to be speed-walking nearby when you called.” He raised his elbows and waved his arms, which looked kind of silly, but that  _ was  _ speed walking for you. 

 

Even so, she was a little suspicious. “In a suit?”

 

“Ahuh. It's called... formal speed-walking, but that's not important.”

 

Roxanne was willing to bet he was lying, he'd probably had the same great idea she had, and either didn't want to embarrass her, or he didn't want to admit she'd beat him to it. She'd let that one go, for the moment. He brushed past her.

 

“I better take the lead. This way looks exciting.” His eyes were bright, but he was pointing to a big exit sign.

 

“No, it says ‘Exit’.” He wasn't going to trick her out of her scoop, just so he could have a moment alone in Megamind's lair. She knew how long he'd studied Metro Man and Megamind's ba ttles;  she knew  _ just _ what this discovery meant for his geeky little mind.

 

“Er, which is the abbreviation for exciting, right?”

 

It was sweet, the way he was pretending to keep her safe. Or, maybe he really was just trying to keep her safe? Worried for her? If so, it was kind of endearing.

 

But Roxanne had been protected and rescued for, well, most of her life. She was over that gig. Metro Man was dead, and if he could die, anybody could. If Megamind was capable of killing, what would stop him killing her? And if she was already dead, well, she was going to do her best to take him down with her. She'd go out kicking, screaming, and fighting for justice.

 

She knew what she was aiming for; the one thing that Megamind kept hidden away and concealed. Whether it was a new weapon, a new costume, a new plan, or a new robotic body for Minion, whatever Megamind had kept safest, _that_ was what Roxanne wanted to find. Those big impressive red curtains would be a start. Who would make drapes that tall in a factory this big, if they weren't hiding something impressive. She ignored Bernard, and headed thataway.

 

She swung the curtains wide open. Okay, wow. Like an ideas map. Scraps of paper, scribbled notes, swatches of fabric, and string connecting distant pieces together. What a way to brainstorm! When you were evil, you really did have the time and the space to dedicate to your hobbies. He'd turned plotting into an art form, the way that some people spent all weekend finessing Lego construction, or origami folding, or pouring the perfect cup of tea . This was so much better, because this was full of information that Roxanne could read and understand, because this wasn’t just Megamind’s hobby. It was his day job.

 

“This is the motherlode!” She stared at it. She was having trouble taking it all in, that's how much of it there was.

 

“Oh!” Bernard ran up behind her. She could tell from his silence that he was impressed too.

 

“Wow. Just look at this thing.” It was a little redundant to say it, but she had to share the moment with him. She  _ wanted _ to be sharing this discovery with somebody, and not just the public in her inevitable primetime expose piece.

 

“Wow. Uh...”

 

She pulled her camera out and began snapping. Behind her, she could hear Bernard gaping, gasping. He was definitely in awe. She didn't blame him. A lifetime of research, and to be confronted with _this_. Megamind brainstormed, which was a funny thought in itself. Did his sky-blue skin cloud over?

 

No, don't be silly. She had to keep taking pictures, making sure they were in focus. She'd reconstruct it all when she got home. She’d pick his evil mind apart. But still, Bernard was probably having a profound moment, intimate. They could literally reach out and touch Megamind's thoughts.

 

“You know, I could really use your help in deciphering all this.”

 

“Really?” He was being sarcastic. Okay, fine. So she was hogging the Evil Lair, a little bit. Acting like she knew more about Megamind than he did.

 

“You're an expert on all things Megamind, right?”

 

“Yes. Right.” Or, possibly, he was just one of those eccentric geniuses who forgot his driving passion in his research.

 

“Together, we could figure out his plan for the city and stop it. Are you in?”

 

“Oh, what fun!” He was sarcastic, sure, but he was in. She could tell.

 

“That's what I want to hear!”

 

As she snapped pictures, a bumbling buzz of brain bots burst out from the darkness of the lair, saying “Intruder” on a loop. They swooped in and scooped Bernard up by the arms.

 

The brain bots carried him away, backwards, knocking into a metal cabinet, but not knocking it over. The doors rattled, and Roxanne wondered what was locked inside _there_. She looked around. There had to be _something_ dangerous, right? It _was_ Megamind, but he had to have at least one actually lethal weapon in his arsenal. She'd settle for anything, as she watched them carry Bernard further away.

 

To her disgust, the lair was empty of anything that a person, and not a robot, could weaponise. Notes? Scraps of orange fabric?! Was he ruling the city or just redecorating? She grabbed the first heavy thing she could find, a wrench, and hefted it in her throwing hand. It wasn't much, but Bernard was an archivist. There was no telling how weak he was, or if he had asthma or not. If anybody was going to be the hero that day, it would have to be her.

 

She ran after them and _thought_ she'd seen Bernard fall to the ground, but when she rounded the corner, there was Megamind. Gangly failure of a villain, he was flat on his ass with his cloak flipped over his head.

 

She gasped. She hadn't been expecting him, which was stupid, because it _was_ his lair. “Megamind. What have you done with Bernard?”

 

Maybe she'd underestimated Bernard. Go Bernard! She'd have _paid_ to see a pasty researcher punch Megamind's lights out. She advanced on him, emboldened by Bernard's own courage.

 

Megamind stared at her, gaping. One eyebrow raised. Sometimes, she'd look at him during a kidnapping, and she'd be struck by how familiar all of his behaviour was. She'd known him since high school. When he looked at her like he was, right then, it was the same way he'd looked at their homeroom teacher when she'd announced the up and coming parent teacher night. Or, as Roxanne would put it, his ‘ _you've got to be kidding me’_ face.

 

“A wrench? Seriously?” He laughed.

 

A brain bot bobbed closer to her, looking more interested than threatened. She brandished the wrench. The brain bot quivered, staring at it.

 

“It can still crack a skull open. I was in the KMCP women's baseball team for three years. We won against Metro Fox.” She squared her feet, and brought her free arm up, clenched the wrench in both hands. “I've got a mean swing. Now tell me, _what did you do with Bernard?!_ ”

 

“Fetch,” Megamind said, with a cruel glint in his eye. The brain bot dashed for the wrench, yanking so hard on it that Roxanne's feet nearly left the ground.

 

She had lower body strength. She fought back, twisting around to throw her weight back down. It worked! The brain bot struggled with her and flew in a wild arc. Unwilling to let go of the wrench, it was more trapped than she was. She swung around, and smashed it into a big steel... something... with buttons... to her right.

 

When she checked where Megamind had been, Bernard was there instead. Panting, a little scuffed looking, but his eyes were wide with adrenaline.

 

“You fought him off? Go Bernard!” With one last shake, Roxanne dislodged the brain bot. She reached down to grab Bernard's hand as she ran past. “Come on, run!”

 

“You don't have to tell me twice,” he said, panting as he kept up with her.

 

She made straight for the exit, pushing the door open wide and nearly leaping through. Only Bernard shouting “No, don't!” and his hand clutching at her wrist was the only thing that kept her alive.

 

A pit fell away from the door into a glittering pit of alligators. The only thing her mind could process was the disco ball and the loud music, before Bernard yanked her back to safety. She grabbed his arm. Her blood was moving quicker than it had in a long time. Her heart was racing.

 

“Bernard! You were right about that door being exciting!”

 

He turned without really listening to her. “This way!”

 

She let him pull her along, and then they were running side by side, past some scaffolding and pipes. The brain bots were chasing right behind them. They passed through an archway, and then things started to look familiar. This was the way they'd come in. And _t_ _here_ , she'd seen it before: a table full of dynamite. Probably the leftovers from blowing up the museum. She grabbed a stick, said “Hah!” and raised it to the exposed wires on the underside of a brain-bot, using the spark to ignite the fuse.

 

In some ways, her experience as a nearly professional full-time kidnap victim paid off. Megamind had used the same trick himself, to escape Metro Man's justice only three years before. Had it really been three years?

 

Bernard was a little freaked; it was probably the adrenaline. She threw the dynamite. They ran for it, everything exploding behind them. Roxanne's blood sung in her veins. She'd never done that before. She'd never had the luxury of taking action. _Finally_ , she had gone into Megamind's lair, she'd faced him, and she'd blown _his_ things up, and she'd made it out alive.

 

 

She'd skinned her hands a little, but wow. They'd made it out of there. They hadn't been followed. She'd had a real breakthrough, getting those pictures of Megamind's plans. She'd saved Bernard, and he'd saved her right back. A real give and take. A partnership of equals. He hadn't just shown up to save her, he'd shown up to share the journey with her. She caught her breath; she couldn't look away from him.

 

That energy of his. That curiosity. An archivist and a journalist. Like two sides of the same coin, really. Yin and yang. Someone she could _talk_ to. Someone who _understood_ her.

 

“Oh!” Bernard turned back, and Roxanne followed his gaze. The billowing smoke. Success!

 

She caught her breath. “Wow, that was really exciting.”

 

“Yeah.” He was staring at her in awe, looked as awake and alive as she felt inside.

 

“You were very strong in there.” She hadn't known he'd had it in him, really.

 

“I know.”

 

“I've never seen anyone but Metro Man stand up to him like that.” Had she finally found the only other person in Metro City who wasn't prepared to take things lying down?

 

“Roxanne, what  _ are _ you doing? Are we going to take this shot, or what?”

 

Hal. He was swinging his camera around and looking unhappily at Bernard. Well, Hal could just go suck it. He was babbling about how he'd been totally about to go look for her, but she really couldn't care less. Could Hal _be_ any more embarrassing?

 

“Wow, brave one, isn't he?” Bernard's sarcasm made her chest shake with silent laughter.

 

Hal frowned. “Who are you?”

 

“Oh, thi... this is Bernard. He's my partner.” In crime. Investigating buddies. Action hero squadmates. Yeah, okay. Roxanne was very glad that she knew when to keep her mouth shut.

 

“Partner?!" Hal wasn't surprised; he was upset. One more of those little hints, along with the way he managed to look  _ down _ his nose at somebody who was  _ taller _ than him, that there was something unprofessional about his approach to professional relationships.

 

“Yes. Yes. Partner.” Bernard sounded delighted. Hal was saying something, and she knew she should go and get on with her work, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to leave this moment behind her. She had to go, right then, or she never would.

 

“I'd better take him home. Thanks again, Bernard.”

 

She had to do something. She couldn't just walk away. She couldn't be all ‘crazy single lady’ and then just ask him to stay by her side forever. He probably had things to do. But, she wanted to... she was wrapping her arms around him before she let herself over-think it. He smelled of gunpowder and burning hair, and alligator pits, and leather and dirt and sweat. He hugged her back, kind of. She pulled back before it got too creepy desperate, and punched him on the shoulder.

 

“I'll call you tomorrow, partner.”

 

“Yeah, okay, I'd like that.”

 

She showered when she got home, plugged her camera into her laptop, and filled her espresso maker, putting it on the hot-plate. She'd get a good head-start on the pictures, and hopefully by the time she got in to work the next morning, she'd have some idea of what to dig for. If she could put her mind to it, she'd be able to figure out what Megamind wanted from Metro City. Once she understood that, she'd be able to change things.

 

She stared at the images for a good few hours, but her laptop screen just wasn't big enough. Even compositing the images together was a bit of a waste of time. She chose another method. She drained the cold dregs of her coffee with a wince, and dumped her mug in the sink. She grabbed her bag of Fair Trade Colombian beans and headed out the door. The $2 shop on the corner near the station didn't have an EFTPOS machine, but she bet her lucky stars they'd be willing to barter.

 

As it turned out, five hundred grams of Colombia's finest ethical coffee got her the mother load. No less than six balls of red string, two huge multi-packs of office supplies that included enough bull-clips, paperclips, and post-it notes, flags, and other oddly shaped tags to last the rest of her life. Notepaper and printer paper. A jar of Nescafe instant, shudder, and a ten-pack of instant noodles.

 

She didn't need any pens, as she tended to accidentally bring them home from work. A terrible habit, but a useful one. She was fueled by pure caffeine and residual adrenaline, by fear for her life and the lives of others, and a desperate fury that the roasters on Main street wouldn't be getting any more shipments in until the banks re-opened.

 

At three in the morning, she broke. She had an apartment full of string, a stiff neck, and _no_ idea what Megamind was planning. The notes she'd copied based on the photographs seemed to tell a story of existential angst and 90s film homages. It had to be some kind of a code. He had a flair for the theatrical, so she could assume that whatever it was, it was going to be big. The reddish colour scheme didn't reassure her. Red could be fire, or blood, or any kind of aggression. Compared to his previous cool and collected blue, it felt _wrong_. Killing a person could change you. Before Metro man’s death, Megamind had never really _harmed_ anyone, and now that the boundary had been crossed, she feared that there was no going back. She hoped against hope that it wasn't too late to stop him.

 

When she woke up the next morning, it was ten. She panicked. Work! She ran around the apartment, tripping over a sheaf of printer paper, stubbing her toe, swearing. She collapsed in disgust when she saw the jar of Nescafe sitting on her kitchen counter. She blinked blearily at herself in the bathroom mirror, and realised that her alarm clock hadn't gone off, because it was a Saturday.

 

Well, Bernard was an expert, right? She picked up her phone and texted him. It was time to hit the books, and she could use a friend in dark times like these.


	2. Holding out for a hero

With Roxanne gone, there was nothing left to do but return to the Evil Lair and help Minion recover what they could from the explosion. Minion didn't say anything, but he didn't have to. One look said it all. He knew _exactly_ why Megamind hadn't extinguished the explosive, and it had to do with Roxanne Ritchi and the gun that Minion had kept safely hidden in the cupboard.

 

“I mean, I don't want to think I'm your dirty little secret, sir.” Minion was teasing him, but it was only half good-natured.

 

“You're _not_ my dirty little secret, Minion! _I_ am!” Megamind looked down at his gloved hands and sighed. “Perhaps I should have kidnapped her like you suggested, but I'm not sure I'm in the mood to carry out my threats.”

 

Minion nodded sympathetically. “It's a difficult time you're going through, Sir. Most villains don't live long enough to succeed. You're a shining example of genius and brilliance.”

 

Megamind looked wistfully at the twisted gears and servos of the blasted brain bots, tossing a few parts into the unsalvageable pile. “Am I, though? It's pretty short-sighted for a master villain to be caught unawares like that. Why didn't I have any plans for afterwards? It's like I was only in the fight for the sake of the fight itself. Which is all well and good, until there's nothing left. Even petty theft has lost its glow. With all this money, it's pointless to steal anything!”

 

Minion tutted. “You'll figure it out, I'm sure you will. We can put this whole ‘new hero’ business to bed, you can enact your evil revenge on the citizens, and everything will be _great_!”

 

Megamind smiled fondly, sadly. Minion did have a heart of gold. “Perhaps. I know it's foolhardy, but even now that Miss Ritchi's seen everything, I can't let it go. The idea. I can't bring him back, but I could do the next best thing. I could give the city hope...”

 

“In order to crush it! Yes, Sir, I understand.”

 

“I'm not sure you do at all, Minion. But thank you. Let's profile some likely candidates. The DNA will take care of most things. We need the noblest, most heroic people we can think of. Somebody who, given near unstoppable power, won’t use it for their own gains.”

 

Minion nodded, glumly. “Your list is pretty short, sir.”

 

The list was, in fact, three names scrawled with a sharpie on the back of a receipt from Wal-Mart. ‘ _Warden, R. Ritchi, The Mayor.’_

 

“None of them are really suitable candidates. I just haven't paid much attention to those minuscule minds out there in Metrocity. Their tiny thoughts, their tiny lives. We'll need to do some research. Honour rolls. Good Samaritan awards. ”

 

Minion sighed. Megamind was glad of Minion, sometimes. He didn't have the heart to voice his own fears. In a city of such vast proportions, such inequality and such cruel bullying and pettiness, such _poor_ taste in music… Was it possible for just _one_ good person to live?

 

“It's possible,” he affirmed. “I just have to dig deep. Learn their values. Study their childhoods. Make sure they don’t hold any grudges.”

 

Minion swept the pile of junk parts into a plastic bin and stood up. “Well, you can't do worse than Wayne Scott.”

 

“Good point, Minion! Let's rule out any smug bullies and any rich jerks.”

 

“At the same time, Sir, you should be cautious of giving an underdog the key to Metro Man’s powers. It would give them a chance to enact revenge on everyone who’s made their life miserable.”

 

“True, true. There’s hardly even room for _one_ supervillain in this horrible city.”

  
Megamind frowned, as he surveyed the remains. Most of the repairs could be carried out by the bots themselves, but tinkering helped him to think. He waved the swarm away when one unit made an inquisitive sound, and pushed his chair over to the shelves of small parts drawers. This was going to be an all-nighter.

 

They moved away from the ideas cloud and went out for a drive. It was relaxing, taking in the quiet streets of Metro City, the grey clouds that loomed in from the lake, and as they travelled up an incline, they could see the roofs of the factories and houses stretch out behind them. The further in they got, the taller the buildings grew, until Megamind couldn't see where the skyscrapers ended, even cruising on the elevated highways.

 

"Boy scouts," Minion suggested, as they passed a sign indicating a scout hall.

 

"Wayne Scott wore a woggle," Megamind replied. "It's a possibility. They're a bit young, though."

 

"Right, because Metro Man only became super-powered as an adult," Minion said with great sighing and sarcasm. "And giving a normal adult human being that kind of strength, well, that's not asking for trouble."

 

"So we'll pick a pacifist!" Wait, no. That kind of defeated the point of _fighting_ them. "Forget that. Let's pick a champion of something. Take us past the university, Minion!"

 

Minion changed gears, and headed for the nearest off-ramp. "Right you are, Sir! Are you wanting the faculty of information, or arts, perhaps? Sciences?"

 

"The sports clubs," Megamind said, with great and meaningful intent. Also with eyebrows, because everything was better with dramatic eyebrows.

 

"Oh, fine, but we're _not_ using the showers. Those places are rife with bacteria."

 

The sports clubs and gyms were dull. There was no better word for it. Some people in this world got their exercise in by running for their lives, or practicing chin-ups on the bars in the prison's recreational yard. What Megamind had done to himself for survival, these petty citizens did in order to stave off boredom and to increase the miniscule supply of blood to their pitifully undersized brains. They used treadmills and they used heart rate monitors, as if their muscles could somehow tell how much money had been spent on the equipment.

 

"I thought there would be more... derring-do. Acts of mastery. Discipline.” Megamind watched a second-year physicist called Terry hit a tennis ball back and forth against a brick wall. In a glass-walled room behind them, a line of bored-looking kids with headphones on ran on treadmills.

 

"It's exam week, there's not really any group activities scheduled," Minion said. He did not say ‘ _I could have told you that this was pointless_ ,’ and so Megamind did not pout. Instead, Megamind clasped his hands together with dramatic flair.

 

"No, these specimens lack the dedication and passion to be a true hero. We shall need to look further afield!"

 

The community college gym was even worse. Then, they checked the soup kitchens for a sense of nobility, finding only middle-class guilt, religious superiority, and a surprising glimmer of humble grace.

 

"Humility's no use to us," Megamind sighed, as he slumped back down into the Hudson's passenger seat yet again. "We can't narrow it down to a hobby, or a calling. A hero is made deep down in his soul, somewhere."

 

Minion rolled his eyes. "Metro Man was one of the shallowest, simplest people I've ever met, Sir. No offense."

 

"None taken," Megamind said. "But he had a naivety, a certain something about him. As selfish he was, he honestly did believe he was doing what was right. He wanted to be seen as a hero, to stand up against the abstract concept of evil, rather than the explicit evil acts that exist in this city."

 

"What he was," Minion said, as he signaled and merged, heading back to the lair, "was an idiot. Too slow to see the depth of things. Most people see right through to the shades of grey, but to Metro Man, everything was always white and black."

 

Megamind thought about it. He stroked his goatee. "Perhaps. Or perhaps you're forgetting all of the times that we engaged in witty repartee. No, Metro Man was no fool, or I'm a monkey's... anyway. I want a list of Metrocity's top awarded citizens of the year, weighted for age, physical ability, and any connections with Metro Man."

 

The list took hours to make. Minion was up all night with it. In the morning, Megamind scanned through it, working from the top down, crossing out everyone who just didn't feel right. He tried to trust his instincts, where reason and genius had failed him. At the end of it all, he had nothing but red pen marks and a heavy heart.

 

“It's hopeless. _Hopeless!_ Not one of these fools has the nobility or the flair for _one_ proper battle, let alone becoming my _rival_.”

 

“Well, these things do take time, sir. We need to refine the profiling algorithms and run through the city databases again.”

 

“Maybe you're right,” Megamind sighed. Bernard’s phone began ringing in his pocket. A text. He pulled it out, while Minion said something that was probably reassuring.

 

‘ _Meet @ library … RR’_ No time period. That meant _now_ , then, right?

 

Megamind replied immediately. ‘ _Can't wait. LOL. :)’_

 

“Can't wait for what, Sir?” Minion held a finger poised above the keyboard. Had Megamind possibly been typing out loud? He'd have to pay more attention, next time.

 

“Oh, I'm off to the library.”

 

“Great idea, sir! Let me know if you find anything.”

 

Researching _one_ citizen was kind of like researching all the citizens, right? Right.

 

It was a bit weird, going out as a normal person. It was like using the invisible car, but people could get right up close and personal. You weren't supposed to mutter to yourself as you walked, like a crazy person. You weren't supposed to laugh when a child fell over and cried, even if their parents were trying to keep their own faces straight. It was annoying to have to pay for the subway, but fascinating to think how underpowered and inefficient the system was. Maybe it could be tweaked? No, too much work, and a distraction from The Plan. The most unnerving thing was that no one was staring at him, which was something he’d had to endure without end. No screams, no sirens. It was almost like he belonged there.

 

He emerged across the road from the public library near Roxanne's house. It was quiet, because most people weren't leaving their homes that close to the City Hall and their new and fabulous Evil Overlord. It was an old building, which made it a mixture of impressive architecture and small, poky molded alcoves. It was dwarfed by the nearby apartment blocks. It was homey in a way that the high school and the prison library hadn't been. He'd written off libraries as next to useless since Google Books, but perhaps he should change his mind. Perhaps the convenience and anonymity of a VPN couldn't trump some of the values of hard copy.

 

Or perhaps Roxanne's company was what made it so nice. He wouldn't have imagined that anything like this could’ve ever happened, not even in his wildest dreams, but here he was, walking in plain daylight into a library with Roxanne at his side, and typing his own name into the catalog.

 

“I'm surprised that you didn't know there was a subject heading for Megamind,” Roxanne said with a laugh. “I suppose that it's not a very useful way to sort books, when your entire collection would have focused on him, one way or another.”

 

“Yes,” Megamind improvised. “We ah, sorted by topics, and chronological... topics. Er… You know, the types of explosives used... size of the bots.”

 

Roxanne nodded like that made sense, somehow, like he'd actually _seen_ some of the exhibits. But Roxanne was happy to do the search, and take suggestions from him.

 

“I'll see how my journalistic search skills hold up to yours,” she said with a smile. “Maybe you can give me some tips.”

 

He'd been doubtful of that, but then she'd gone straight for the biographies and completely missed the engineering section. “You should look under ‘architecture’ and ‘Metro City’,” he said. “There's at least one coffee-table book about reconstructing after his attacks. In some cases it's the only public knowledge of his machines.”

 

And Megamind's own; damn his impulse control and Metro Man's destructive capabilities! Some of his most amazing contraptions, lost forever before he'd had a chance to take a picture of them for the album!

 

“Ooh, great idea! You really think about all the angles, don't you?” Roxanne grinned, and then blushed.

 

Wait, were they... _flirting_? The butterflies in his stomach said ‘yes’. Roxanne liked smart guys. She liked smart, geeky, weird losers called Bernard, even when they had the undisguised voice of an evil supervillain. He could... work with that.

 

“Well, I learned the importance of angles, from our very own supervillain. There I – he – was,” Megamind watched her carefully, heart jolting when he messed up, but she didn't seem to have noticed or cared about the slip. “There he was, grandstanding and sure of his victory, but he'd forgotten where the camera was.”

 

Roxanne frowned. “I don't remember this one.”

 

“Oh, you were there, I think. You couldn't see this, from where you were sitting. That time with the decoy race car?”

 

Roxanne frowned. “Nope?”

 

“Oh, right, you wouldn't have seen the decoy. Of course. The time that Metro Man showed up with a really lumpy piece of squashed-up metal and rubber.”

 

“Ohhh, _that_ time,” Roxanne nodded. “That was a _race car_ ?” She snorted, and bit back a guilty smile. “Oh, Megamind must have been _livid_.”

 

“Livid, yes. Perhaps. I'd say that _mortified_ was more like it. The foiled decoy wasn't the start or the end of it.”

 

Roxanne leaned in closer. “What was?”

 

Megamind swallowed tightly, and sat back a little despite himself. Had her eyes always been that big and blue, or was it just the unusually long amount of time she'd spent with her face right near his? He reminded himself to smile. Charm, he was a charming archivist.

 

“Camera angles. Minion had forgotten to set up a key tripod, and hit the wrong button on a switchboard. So while Megamind _thought_ he was addressing the public of Metro City face-on, as Metro Man chased after his decoy recording in a remote-controlled race car, the stream was going live, out the decoy's speakers.”

 

She laughed a little, smirked. “And? I take it this wasn't the end of it. What was up with the tripod?” It was interesting, how telling a story that he'd wanted to forget forever, was coming so easily. It wasn't stinging so much as it once had. It was _good_ to laugh.

 

It was good to have someone to talk to, other than Minion. It was different, very different, to the usual grandstanding and striking-of-terror-into-their-hearts way he usually described his schemes. Even admitting he hadn't been perfect, having a laugh about it. His shoulders felt lighter.

 

“The camera was on the ground. His cloak was, shall we say, awkwardly flipped over his shoulder. Giving everyone a menacing view of... the wedgie he'd got in his pants.” Eyebrows. Funny eyebrows were the best way to deliver that line, and they _worked_.

 

“Oh no!” Roxanne put a hand over her mouth, but her eyes were shining. She laughed and laughed, so hard that she was bending a little, pressing a hand to her ribs. Her shoulders shook, and her cheeks glowed. “That can't possibly have happened. There'd be tapes of it, someone would have told me! Tell me you have archive footage!”

 

Megamind laughed, too. It felt different, when it was so light and genuine instead of his theatrical laugh when he was committing diabolical evil. No anticipation of Metro Man's arrival, another failed plan. No need to seem confident. Just him, Roxanne, and a rush of exhilaration.

 

“Ohoh, that was such a funny story. Heh, and brilliantly told, by the way. Okay, now you tell one.” Wow, score one for sarcastic insecurity, but that hadn't ruined the moment. He was smiling, and she was still smiling too, feelings seeming to be unharmed.

 

Roxanne's face was so open, so light. He’d only ever seen her smugly smirking at him when his plans failed or when her face was slack from unconsciousness. He'd keep on with his stupid stories, and then he’d make them up when he ran out of real ones. He'd do anything to keep that easy and happy look in her eyes.

 

“Bernard, I never knew you were so funny.”

 

“And, I never heard you laugh before.”

 

“Yeah, it's been a while.” She looked quiet, and he thought about Metro Man and of all the times he'd kidnapped Roxanne and _hadn't_ told her something funny. It had been a long time, he supposed, since he'd relaxed enough around her to be nice to her.

 

“Feels pretty good.” She tucked her hair back, smiled at him, and raised her book.

 

He kept peeking at her over the top of his own. This was a fresh start. There was nothing holding them apart, none of the baggage that came from, well, being evil in general, and kind of cruel towards her. She was engrossed in her research, but she didn't seem so frantic. She was happy. He'd _made_ her happy.

 

The next time, Roxanne said she wanted to get out, to take her mind off of Megamind. Bernard tried not to laugh on the phone, as he agreed to meet her for a bike ride. He even went mainstream, because that was what being _in disguise_ meant. He’d acquired – ahem, _stolen -_ a normal bicycle from a perfectly normal bike shop. He’d gotten a perfectly normal helmet, with only a few optimizations.

 

“I can't ride, just so you know,” he said casually, propping an elbow on the handlebars. They swung, and he slipped, and Roxanne sniggered as he righted himself. Laughter. Yes? Yes. Good. He crossed his arms, he pouted and sulked, playing it up just to see how long he could draw the moment out.

 

She buckled his helmet on, adjusted the strap so that it wasn't cutting into his chin. Giving him a push, she helped him get his wheels moving. Megamind felt a jolt in his stomach as he tipped too far to one side, catching himself with his foot. This was a lot different from his evil motorbike.

 

“As long as you keep going fast enough, you'll be stable.”

 

He rolled his eyes. “I might never have ridden a two-wheeler like this before, but I _do_ understand basic physics, thank you very much.”

 

She stuck her tongue out at him, but it was playful and not out of anger. Being here out in the summer air was so different, so nice. The sunshine felt great, and this version of Roxanne that wanted to spend time with this version of himself made him almost forget how this had all started. About trying to cover his tracks after that exploding incident at his secret hideout, and how this was possibly the most evil thing he'd done in his life.

 

Determined not to fall and make a fool of himself, he felt a rush of giddiness as they went down a hill, nearly but not quite falling off his bike. He had very nearly gotten the hang of not running into things. The trick was to swerve a little. Bicycles were a little less responsive than the airbike. Whoops!

 

“You don't get out much, do you?”

 

“Oh, what fun!”

 

Roxanne pulled over, so Megamind caught up to her. He was gaining confidence in his skills, but his smile faded when he saw the nostalgic but sad look in her eyes.

 

“I used to come here with my mother when I was a kid. It was one of my favourite things to do. Now look at it… It's a dump.”

 

Just like that, he was seized with the irresistible urge to make her smile again.

 

In the darkness of the night, Megamind and Minion crawled through the streets, dehydrating garbage and an odd mangy cat for kicks.

 

“What I don't understand, Minion, is _why_ the humans have defied my directives. Business as usual, I said! Aren't garbage collection services usual?”

 

Minion shrugged. “Maybe they all resigned and left town in protest. Or, since there's no money left, business as usual is for people to quit working when they don't get paid.”

 

This was a bone of contention between them. Minion had wanted to rule the city with an iron fist. Megamind had just wanted to play with it. Also, as he had helpfully pointed out, Minion's fists were stainless steel and not iron. In the end, neither of them had ended up that happy.

 

“No, it's more than that. It's unusual, like they literally can't do things for themselves.”

 

Minion zapped a pile that Megamind had missed. “Well, sir, maybe Metro Man wasn't the best hero for them. Like I've said, when you were younger. It's important for a body to know how to do things. Their own laundry. The dishes.”

 

“Yes, yes, and we all remember how many marvellous lasers I invented to threaten you with, until you gave up on that. But what I'm saying is, really? Metro Man leaves, and they stop cleaning up after themselves? They'll get _sick_.”

 

“Since when do you care about people getting sick?”

 

“Well, it's... this place is filthy!”

 

Minion raised a fishy brow. “And we care, why?”

 

“Well,” Megamind searched for an answer. Anything other than that ‘Roxanne would like it’. “We want a good fight out of the new hero, whoever we pick, but we don't want a _savior._ We want someone to fight for justice, not to protect people from themselves.”

 

Minion shrugged. “Fair point, but I still don't see why _we're_ doing this when the _bots_ could have.”

 

Megamind shrugged. “It's been a while since we've had an excuse to take the fighting bots out, Minion.”

 

Minion laughed, shrugged, and said, “Well after this, let's go find the municipal staffers and _scare_ them in their sleep!”

 

Megamind felt his heart light up. “Yes! We can threaten their lives, until they stand up for themselves and pick up their rubbish for their own good!”

 

Wait, that wasn't really any better than Metro Man, was it? Well, it would do. At least the place would be clean. He just had to bring the paintings back to the art gallery, and he'd be ready to call Roxanne and ask her out again.

 

He'd admitted, when they'd been cycling through the park, that he'd never been on a picnic before. She'd made a big fuss about it, asking about his favourite foods, checking the weather and texting him about it. It was kind of annoying. It made him feel unnecessarily special, which tickled in his chest and touched on old feelings that he thought he'd long forgotten. He wasn't quite sure what to expect, when he went out to meet her.

 

The sun was golden, and Roxanne was wearing the most casual clothing he'd ever seen her in. So this was who she was, when she wasn't dressed for the cameras or for the office: relaxed, all of her cold harsh edges becoming easy and welcoming. Her cynicism still rivalled his own, but it had softened with this kindness. He found it humbling that she could grow up in this cruel world, suffer all of the dangers he'd put her through, and still have so much warmth and trust to give.

 

Well, okay. She didn't trust _him_ , but she trusted Bernard, and _that_ was a beautiful thing. They talked about Metro Man, making friends, and being socially isolated. How she'd struggled with her drive to succeed, missing out on relationships. How alone he'd been at school, being mercilessly bullied.

 

“Well, it's a shame I didn't go to your school, then,” she said. Her fingers were laced with his, and she was leaning into him. Oh, it wasn't true. It couldn't possibly be true. She'd never mean that, but she _thought_ she meant it, and before his mind had time to process it, the feeling had gone straight to his heart. Even though he knew better, he couldn’t help himself.

 

He allowed himself to imagine a world in which she'd looked at him like this in high school and he'd never grown up to kidnap her, or kill Metro Man, and they were lying in the park together in the sun, and she wasn't looking at him and seeing Bernard. He thought about Metro High's library, and the Prom, and just like that, the golden moment was lost.

 

It sunk home like exhaustion into his bones. She could never truly love him, not _him._ She would never truly know him. He didn't deserve her, anyway, but he'd take what he could get. For now, that meant lying in the sun in silence, and ignoring the dread that was building inside his gut. It meant basking in her radiance and squeezing her hand back with a smile, not thinking about the fact that this moment was a lie. Some part of him knew that there was no such thing as a lie that could be taken to the grave, but for as long as it would last, he would enjoy it.


	3. The big red button

It was a slow news day in Metro City. Minion had emailed KMCP from the Mayor's office, announcing a change to the city seal. It would no longer display Metro Man's heroic muscled visage, but rather Megamind's iconic blue-on-black lightning bolt.

 

Roxanne let one of the junior staffers take it. She was... drifting. Most of their coverage was being copied across from the regional office and the national news. The banks were slowly re-opening, but everyone who had applied for jobs in other cities had started to get their interviews. Bit by bit, the station was emptying out.

 

“Hey, Roxy. We're ordering pizza. You in?” Hal asked with a shrug. “I mean, it might just be you and me here, pulling the late shift. We could go out somewhere?”

 

Roxanne shook her head. “No thanks, Hal. I'm meeting a friend. I tell you what, though. I think George is still in his office. He might be interested.” She began mentally pleading with her computer to shut down quickly.

 

“George is boring,” Hal said, with the whiny exaggeration of a teenager. “He's not fun like you, like you and I are, together.”

 

“Yeah, nice try, Hal. That gets you a two out of a hundred for style. I'm going home.” She swung her bag onto her shoulder, and thumbed off her computer screen. Finally, everything was turned off.

 

He followed her to the lifts, eager. “I could drive you home? The streets aren't safe, here.”

 

Roxanne stabbed at the button for the lift. “I'm going on a date,” she said. It wasn't a date. She liked Bernard a lot, but she wasn't sure if he felt the same way about her. He’d always been so sarcastic and irritated before, but lately it seemed like he was warming up to her. “So I don't think that's a good idea. I'll get a cab.”

 

Hal was so shocked that he didn't even try to jump into the lift. She pressed the close doors button, and his face slid out of view.

 

Smitten. That was a good word for it. She was smitten with Bernard. He was just so much more alive than anyone else she'd met. Her feelings for him had built so fast, and maybe she was being naïve, but she couldn’t help it. There were two ideas that were making Roxanne's stomach churn and tingle with excitement: the thought of a bumbling, nervous, clueless Bernard stammering and helpless during their first time together, and the thought of him months afterwards, confident and powerful in his knowledge of her body.

 

She was a dirty, filthy, old woman, and even if he was the same age as her, Bernard was probably the biggest fainting damsel she'd ever met. She'd have liked to sweep him off his feet, but she was worried that she'd scare him away if she was too forward.

 

“Crazy lady cougar behind door two!” She bit her lip and headed out the front, where one of the last and most wonderful cab drivers in Metro City was waiting for her.

 

“Nikhil,” she said. He was always around when she needed him.

 

“Miss Ritchi,” he replied. He knew where to drive her, and she knew how much to pay him. It was a good relationship they had.

 

Roxanne hadn't been this ready for a date in years. She'd showered, shaved, waxed, powdered, and painted. She'd washed her hair, and she'd put on one of her new favourite dresses. She couldn't leave it alone, though. Megamind hadn't acted on _anything_ that she'd seen in the notes, or anything that she'd puzzled out with Bernard. Instead, it was like he was retreating, _or worse._ The garbage was gone. The money had been returned to the banks. The paintings were back in the gallery.

 

If she hadn't been there the day that he'd taken over City Hall, if she hadn't seen that bus still embedded in the side of that alley wall, she'd have wondered if he'd given it all up and retired. That's how inactive he was, how out of character. What on earth could be doing? What could he be _planning?_

 

“Maybe he's cleaning the city up because he doesn't like smelly garbage,” she mused. “No. No, that's not right. He'd have to come _out_ for it to be a problem, and nobody's seen him in weeks.”

 

She picked at the notes. They seemed to be analysing Metro Man and the basic concepts of heroism. There was a lot in there about the difference between the dark and light side, what defined a hero and what made a villain, and how to balance the two. Was it possible that Megamind was _bored?_ Or that, in the absence of someone like Metro Man to challenge him, he was seeking a hero? No, that was... childish. It was too stupid for words, and Megamind wasn't stupid. What kind of dictator or overlord would want to willingly give up their power?

 

Okay, Megamind wasn't stupid in the way that other people were. His stupidity was complex, and it involved getting too excited about his plans much too early. He would be so eager to flaunt his newest brilliance that he would rush into things without testing them properly. He would _brag_ and make everything so complicated that there were too many ways for something to fail. There _had_ to be something more to it than black and white morality. Megamind never did anything without a reason. It wasn’t like he was some despicable monster who was capable of the coldheartedness it took to rape or torture someone. It was almost like Megamind just loved to play and put on a show for people. He loved for people to _see_ him and fear his intelligence, but he didn’t want everyone to give up on fighting him. Had things grown too easy for him now that Metro Man was dead?

 

Roxanne pinched a newspaper clipping between her thumb and forefinger. She'd simply printed out the image from the picture she'd taken in his Evil Lair. She hadn't paid much attention to it. It was just another story from their childhood, one of the first reports in which Metro Man had been applauded for his heroism. He'd been ten years old, and at the time, he'd been known to everyone as Wayne Scott, heir to a city.

 

Aha! There it was, the scent of a trail. She'd got a bit of material on the Scott Empire in her drawer, at work. That had been back from her early days, when she'd been an idealistic young woman, and she could already guess part of it. There was a reason, aside from the obvious, that half the businesses and landmarks in the city were named Metro. The Scott family invested big, and they owned nearly everything. Well, not everything, but they certainly made a lot more from the city, than the city made from them. It had sparked class outrage in Roxanne's young heart.

 

She'd nearly lost her job in the first month when she'd tried to write her exposé. As an older and wiser woman, she knew exactly why, too. If you took the Scott family out of Metro City, Metro City crumbled. They donated to as many charities as they purchased interests in companies. Basically, what could you do? There's no law against having money. It left a sour taste in Roxanne's mouth, but there were greater injustices in the world.Metro Man, previously Metro Dude, previously Wayne Scott, was not a bad guy.

 

Still, she needed to know just what it was that was driving Megamind. He'd been quiet for almost a month. If there was anything Roxanne had learned over the decade and a half of kidnappings she'd been subjected to, it was this: Evil doesn't take a break.If he hadn't done anything, it only stood to reason that he had, and she just wasn't seeing it. Oh, was up to something, she was _sure_ of it, and without Metro Man to stop him, there was no telling how destructive it would be.

 

She had an hour till she met Bernard. She'd make that hour count.

 

She hadn't wanted to lose time changing, so she'd belted her coat around her waist and slipped her heels into her handbag, wearing her everyday flats. She knew where to go, she knew how to sneak around, and she was lucky. As she was sneaking in, Minion and Megamind were having an argument.

 

An _argument!_ She couldn't have timed it better! She slipped through the cover of darkness, and crowded up close to the cloud of paper and strings against the wall. It... hadn't changed much. It really hadn’t changed at _all,_ to her surprise.   
  


What was going on? It was like Megamind hadn't been in his Evil Lair since she'd last been there. It was ludicrous!Since when did evil take a holiday? What on earth was he doing with his free time?

 

“Roxanne?”

 

She froze, confused and surprised. “Bernard?”

 

When she turned around, the factory floor was empty and silent. The invisible car was still completely visible, and Bernard was standing beside a broken mirror, looking as pale as a ghost. Had that always been broken, or had it been smashed in the fight? When had Megamind and Minion left? She hadn’t noticed exactly when their argument had ended, and now it was eerily silent.

 

“Bernard! Great minds think alike. Look! He hasn't touched a thing. Nothing's changed!” Roxanne swept a hand out to indicate the notes.

 

“You don't say,” he said. “Look, oh wow! I've found the keys! To the car! Hey, that's _exciting_. We could drive the car to dinner, and talk about it on the way there, what do you say?”

 

There was an edge to Bernard's voice that Roxanne didn't like. He sounded manic. Not excited, but genuinely manic. She was getting a gut feeling about this situation, and it wasn't anything good. She held her hands up. “Maybe. Okay. Maybe.” She backed away from the papers and strings, back towards the ‘Secrit Entrance’.

 

He looked tense. He looked _angry_. She wasn't sure what had happened or where he'd come from. Had he been following her? Oh, something about this wasn’t right. Megamind and Minion had been screaming at each other only seconds beforehand. Bernard couldn’t have gotten in and ended up standing where he was without being seen by those two. “Bernard. Where are they?”

 

She'd seen Megamind kill Metro Man. She'd have sworn she'd never see that happen, not in a million years, even as she watched the Death Ray hit the observatory. She'd have sworn that Bernard didn't have a violent bone in his skinny body, but she also wasn't a fool.Megamind and Minion, two of the most dramatic personalities Roxanne knew – and being in television, that _said_ something – had disappeared into thin air. In their own home, with two intruders in it. That just _didn't happen_.

 

“Roxanne? I don't know. When I, ah, got here, they were already...”

 

He took a step towards her, and Roxanne took another backwards, desperately trying to put some distance between them. Was _Bernard_ the reason those two were suddenly gone? What could he have done to them? She bumped into something, and put her hands out to balance herself. She felt a large plastic button depress beneath her left hand. Bernard’s eyes went wide and round. His hands reached out towards her, fingers shaking. “No, Roxanne!”

 

“Bernard?” she asked. Slowly, she turned her head. Beneath her hand, was a big red button. A post-it note was stuck on below it, and in Minion's messy handwriting, she could see the word _RESET_. That she recognised his handwriting at all, spoke volumes on her depressing lack of a social life.

 

She turned back to see her own horror reflected in Bernard's eyes, and she managed to say, “He _made_ one?! I thought you said they were impossible!”

 

As if a light switch had been flicked, everything went dark.

 

 

When Roxanne woke up, she felt so strange. As she looked around, she was back in her apartment, in bed. Still remembering everything that had just occurred in Megamind’s lair, she thought, ‘ _D_ _idn't Bernard say the physics were impossible?!’_

 

Her alarm was going off, except that _wasn't_ her alarm. She hadn't had a digital clock radio since the 90s. Come to think of it, she hadn't slept in flannelette sheets since the 90s either. A sick, horrified feeling washed over her. Her toes tingled and her palms began sweating. She raised her hands, and did the only think she could think of. It would be a sure measure of the passage of time. She groped her breasts, and then her ass.

 

Yep. Smaller. Firmer. Her wrists were skinnier. Her skin was tighter. It was everything she'd have said she'd wanted, if it came in a bottle, but it didn't feel good. She hadn't known how at home she'd felt in her own skin as an adult, until she'd been catapulted back into the eternal discomfort of puberty.

 

She reached a shaking hand up to tuck slightly too-long hair behind her ear, feeling a pimple on her face. Well, drat. As Metro Man would have said before his untimely death, _crab nuggets_. It had worked. She had saved herself and Bernard from Megamind's clutches by re-setting the clock and sending herself back to high school. Or had she saved herself from Bernard? It was all a bit muddled in her head. Time travel was a bit of a head trip. She laughed out loud.

 

She was in the nineties, alone, underage, with no driver’s licence, _years_ before she’d even met Bernard, before she'd learned how to find hope in a world of darkness.

 

But, wait, no! It was years before she'd lost hope in the first place, years before Metro Man had died, years before he had even been known as anything other than Metro Dude.

 

She pressed her hands to her mouth. She could fix it. _Everything._ She could save Metro Man from years of pointless struggle, and his inevitable death.

 

There was more. There was Bernard, and an opportunity to save more than one person. She could wipe that broken wistful smile off of his future face. She could change the world. The Reset button was the best thing she'd ever touched in her life! Thank God she’d retained all of her future knowledge.

 

“Roxanne, you're going to be late!”

 

On the other hand, she was still in _high school_. One time had been more than enough, and here she was again in Hell on earth. Oh, she was so, _so_ screwed.

 

She felt like a PTSD victim recalling a war zone. Everything was coming back to her now, all the little things she’d stopped thinking about as an adult, because people usually weren't that openly petty or cruel. She had to think about dressing well, not just for the day, but dressing well for _this week_. She had to wear her hair right and have all her homework done. She had to avoid saying the wrong things to the wrong people. Her first time around, Roxanne had thought she was above all of that, but honestly, even walking your own path, you felt the eyes of the people around you. It was impossible to escape the judgement of her peers.

  
“Oh come on,” she gave herself a pep-talk in the bathroom mirror. “With Big, Blue and Bulbous to look at, nobody's going to spare a second glance for Roxanne Ritchi's pimples.”

 

Luckily she’d kept a copy of her schedule, which was good, because she’d never have been able to remember which classes she’d took in whatever year of her schooling this was. That day in class, she immediately spotted Bernard’s younger self. She felt a pang of guilt when she remembered their conversation in the park. She'd had no _idea_ he'd been at her school. That must have really hurt him.

 

She'd thought she'd have to look around a bit, try the private schools. Instead, he was just... different, enough that she'd never have picked him as the same person she'd come to know. She'd never have recognised him in a crowd. He slumped, he slouched. He ignored everybody. He was just, somehow... generic. Nothing about him appealed to her. That spark of intelligence and enthusiasm just didn't shine through like it had when he'd grown up.

 

It was like he was already so disconnected from the world, that he was dying inside, too closed off for her to feel anything for him. She was glad, _so_ glad, that they had met that night at the museum, that she had the chance to know what he was truly capable of, the man he could become. Roxanne took a moment to find her old desk, and as she sat down, she was already planning what to do next.

 

She took a gentle approach. He was a shy, awkward teenager after all, and he always been sour and rude to her before they’d gotten to know each other. She smiled at Metro Dude, and glared at Megamind, who was giving her the strangest, most open-eyed look she’d ever seen on his blue face, but she ignored him and set her lunch tray down beside Bernard like she'd been sitting next to him every day.

 

“Hi, mind if I sit here?”

 

He sighed, and groaned, like it was a huge effort to turn around to face her. “Fine,” he said bluntly, like he could hardly stand even being near her.

 

He had a way of making everyone feel like they were idiot pieces of shit, and he had put his foot down and found you under his sneaker, oozing and stinking.

 

Roxanne wanted to ooze right off to a table with her real friends at it, but she tried to remind herself that Bernard would warm up to her again if given time. Bernard cared about people and had a brilliant mind. He just also had a lot of barriers.

 

“Great,” she said, hoping she wasn't being too perky or forward. She didn't want to come across as an airhead to him. She was teenage Roxanne, and she could become an awkward quiet Roxanne who was ready to open up to a shy boy with a heart of gold. It wasn't really her, but she'd do anything to make herself more accessible to Bernard, to get under his skin and see the man she knew he would become.

 

Lunch passed in relative silence. Bernard glared at her as he got up and left, but Roxanne felt a warm hope open up in her chest. He'd get used to her. She'd show him that someone was there for him. She'd change his world.

 

It was easy enough to find Metro Dude after class. She grabbed him by the upper arm, and rolled her eyes at the winks and leers from his friends. She dragged him aside and around the corner of the schoolyard. She leaned up against the brick wall and crossed her arms.

 

“So, I'm going to be up-front with you. You can fly. You're probably one of the only people in the world I can talk to about this.”

 

He grinned. “Oh? Can you fly too, Roxie?”

 

“Roxanne,” she corrected him. “No, of course not, but I'm here to warn you. I... I got thrown back in time, and I'm not quite sure how.”

 

He frowned. “So are you from like, last week? I've got to say, I did that once. Super speed. Ran home and got there last Tuesday. Mom was pretty angry, cos it meant I had a pair of paradox jocks.”

 

“Paradox... jocks?”

 

He shrugged. “Dirty and clean at the same time.”

 

“Riiiiiiight.” Roxanne was not even going to go there. “No. A little further than that.”

 

He crossed his arms and kicked back into the air, reclined on absolutely nothing. It had seemed clever when she'd been a kid, but as a grown woman, she could see it for what it was. He was just another teenage boy trying to show off, and it had long since lost its appeal.

 

“Two weeks?” he guessed.

 

“Try fifteen years. I was an adult. And I'm not super-powered. I didn't _choose_ to come back here. It was an accident.”

 

Metro Dude's eyes narrowed. “Megamind,” he said.

 

Roxanne raised her hands. “Look, nobody's to blame. But we're friends, right? I want you to make me a promise. It's going to be hard for you, but I _need_ you to do it, okay?”

 

Metro Dude frowned, but nodded. “Anything for a pretty lady,” he said.

 

“Ugh. Were you _always_ this slimy? And I thought Hal was bad.”

 

“Who?” He frowned, brow furrowed.

 

She pinched her nose. “Forget that! Just, promise me. No matter what happens. In the future, one day, you'll open a museum, and I’ll be kidnapped. On that day, I want you to promise. _Don't_ come for me. I don't care what Megamind says. _Don't_ come.”

 

He scratched at his chin. “Huh?”

 

She closed her eyes. She'd been a bit too generous to him, in memory. He wasn't stupid, but he liked to play it up. Bravado. What an ass. Well, she'd warned him. He had super strength. It wasn't like she'd be able to stop him.

 

“Well, I've warned you. I'll keep trying to convince you, I guess.”

 

“And I'll keep being the fabulous hero that I am,” he agreed.

 

“I don't even know why I bother. Just write it down? As a favour for me? Think about it?”

 

He laughed nervously, and scratched his chin. His cheeks... were pink? Oh no. Oh _no_.

 

“I don't like you! I have a boyfriend!” she shouted.

 

“Oooooooh,” he said. “But you have a boyfriend _after_ I die from saving your life.”

 

She stared at him, incredulously. “You're actually getting off on that, aren't you?”

 

He shrugged. “You need me,” he said.

 

“Like hell I do.” Her blood was boiling. Of all the patronising, condescending, ass-things to say! Ugh! Why had she wasted her time trying to talk sense to this bonehead? She would’ve rather tried to talk with snarky teenage-Bernard than listen to Metro Dude try to play his little game. Roxanne marched straight back into the school and to her locker. She needed her things. It was time for library watch.

 

She'd gathered, from asking around, that Bernard tended to hang out in the library. He was a volunteer, shelving books and scanning things through the circulation desk. Roxanne took out her notes for Calc - which was so many years behind her that it was incomprehensible to her - and watched him slowly and methodically re-magnetise returns while the loans queue built up longer and longer.

 

“Do you think he does that to annoy people, or because he actually likes it?”

 

She jumped and turned to see Megamind watching Bernard with a very serious face. “Wha-? Where the heck did you just come from? What are you doing here?”

 

“I think he just resents it when people don't borrow books until the week before exams,” Minion said from her other side.

 

She looked around sharply. They were flanking her, and immediately her instinct told her to _run_ , even though she knew that they hadn’t started kidnapping people this early in life. She let out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding. “I'll ask again. What the _hell_ are you doing here?”

 

Megamind grinned, glancing conspicuously at her notes and Calculus book. “Well, I’m certainly not studying Calc, because _I'm_ not going to fail it.”

 

Minion bobbed amicably in his glass bowl. “Just along for the ride,” he said.

 

Roxanne shut her notebook, and clenched her pencil in her hand. She was sorely tempted to be violent. Her heart was fluttering, though, because Bernard was just metres away from her, feeling alone and rejected. She didn't have _time_ for the terrible two. She refused to make an ass of herself in front of Bernard when she was trying to get on his good side again. For the first time. Ugh, time travel!

 

“What did you have to say to Metro Dude, earlier today?” Megamind asked casually, with an undertone of worry and stress.

 

“I'll tell you,” Roxanne conceded, “If you help me pass Calc.”

 

What the hell, right? It was an admirable cover story that would help make her a fixture in the library without being too much like a creepy stalker. She'd warm Bernard up to her presence in small doses.

 

Megamind raised an eyebrow. “It's that valuable, huh?”

 

“No, it's not valuable at all. It's non-information. But I don't do business with self-styled supervillains. Especially supervillains who don't contribute anything to the school paper.”

 

“I'll think about it,” Megamind said grimly.

 

Roxanne crossed her legs, feeling the lack of padding between her bones. There were definitely benefits to middle age. Ah well, they were only one point five decades away. Her good old squishy adult thighs, that is.

 

“Think fast. The longer you wait, the harder it'll be to teach me.”

 

Megamind just gave a low groan, still glaring at Bernard and shaking his head slowly. Bernard had caught on and was staring right back, expression just as sour.

 

“I can help,” Minion offered brightly. “Where should we start, Miss Ritchi?”

 

Megamind flailed, his hands splaying out over her notes. “I'll do it, _fine_ , okay! No need to get like that, Minion!”

 

“Like what, Sir?” Minion was kind of cute when he was being evil. Well, not _evil_ evil. Just normal person evil.

 

Calculus hurt Roxanne's head. It was clear from Megamind's put-upon sighs and Minion's tutting, that she'd forgotten far more about Math than she'd ever known.

 

“Honestly, I thought you were smarter than this, Miss Ritchi,” Megamind said, shaking his head.

 

Roxanne packed her books up, watching Bernard out of the corner of her eye. “I am. I'm very good at critical analysis. Writing. Holding my own in a fight. I'm just not that into the hard sciences.”

 

Minion gasped, scandalised. He put his hands over his external speakers. Megamind sighed, and looked like he'd given up on the world. “Well, pay up. I'm not asking for the whole story, but I'd like to know if I'm going to get beaten up today, if that's all right to know.”

 

Roxanne started to speak, then stopped. She closed her mouth. No, that still seemed wrong. Metro Dude had never done that… not just for _sport_ , right? He’d only ever done that when Megamind clearly deserved it. Surely, Metro Dude didn’t abuse his powers like that, did he?

 

“He beats you up?”

 

“Well, usually I'm asking for it,” Megamind conceded with a shrug. Roxanne gave an understanding nod of the head, concern fleeing as quickly as it had come.

 

“I thought so. No, no plans for you. we're friends. We just talked. I asked him a favour. And that's all you're getting out of me, today. One day of helping me study doesn’t guarantee that I’ll pass.”

 

Megamind looked disappointed, but he put on a cunning smile. “I see, I see.” He stroked his chin. It was kind of weird, to see him do that without the goatee there. Come to think of it, she didn’t remember him ever doing that until he _had_ grown some facial hair.

 

Did he even have enough testosterone to grow one at this point? He was still going through puberty, probably, _alien_ puberty. Oh god, would her mind just shut up. She bit her lip viciously to keep herself from smiling. She must not laugh, or Megamind might change his mind about helping her earn a passing grade. “So, tomorrow? Same time?”

 

He eyed her suspiciously, but held his hand out, pointing at her. “I'll get to the bottom of your do-gooder plan, Miss Ritchi, and I'll spoil it for you.”

 

“Oh, I hope so,” she let herself laugh, then. “Don't you have _anything_ better to do with your free time?”

 

He smirked. “What, like stalking dweeby librarian wannabes?”

 

She gasped, and glared at him. How the frick did he _know?!_

 

For that, she kicked him in the shins, grabbed her books, and ran. She ran past the bus stop, all the way down the block until she was breathless and giggling. She'd never have lashed out at him like that if it was her first time in high school. She'd never laid a hand him, until he'd actually put her life in jeopardy. That first time, she'd punched him right in the jaw and bruised her knuckles for the privilege. Young Megamind had just paid the price for his future crimes, and she felt a giddy rush of something in her gut.

 

Oh wow. She had not _known_ that. How had she not _known_ that? She was an adrenaline junkie. No wonder Bernard's wide alert eyes and electric personality had appealed to her so much. She held her books to her chest, and her skin felt warm and alive, flushed with energy. She had an excuse to watch Bernard, every day. She had homeroom with him. She would keep sitting with him at lunch. She was, bit by bit, going to nag Metro Dude until he caved in to her demands. She was going to save the world, or die trying. This was their second chance, her second chance to make things right. She really had somehow clicked the rewind button on the remote of her life, and she damn well had learned from her mistakes.


	4. Thursday

Thursday began as all Thursdays did: listening to the drug addict from the second floor vomiting into the upstairs toilet while the kid that was too bratty for foster care had an argument with the cartoons on the TV. Traffic started up in the city around them, and somewhere outside, somebody was shouting at somebody else.

 

They'd been discharged from the prison at age fourteen, and they had found their way to a group youth support home. They'd debated long and hard about going off the grid, but in the end, the power of identity papers kept them within the system. Warden called once in a fortnight to keep tabs on their whereabouts, which was nice. It never hurt to know that someone cared.

 

Anyway, Thursdays. Thursdays, Minion's alarm clock went off at 5:30. They got into the kitchen early and got to work on their food for the day. Minion got himself some fish flakes. Megamind made two pieces of toast and four sandwiches. He grabbed a banana, if there were any in the fruit bowl.

 

The current adult – they had names, but they tended to rotate in and out, depending on the status of the other homes – would greet everyone and make sure they all headed off where they needed to. Megamind would get on a yellow school bus that was just like the prison bus, really, and brace himself for the day.

 

He didn't need to be there; he couldn't learn anything from a curriculum designed for soft-headed monkeys trying to hump each other, but no university would accept an orphan with no money. He needed the academic transcript. What was an evil mad scientist or inventor without a basement lab in a university? He needed to graduate high school. He _wanted_ to see Roxanne Ritchi, even if she hated him. He _enjoyed_ the look on Metro Dude's face every time he topped the class. To tell the truth, his ego needed this escape of finally being able to beat Metro Dude at something. Take that, rich little daddy's boy! Hah!

 

Homeroom was boring at best, and hell at worst. If the mindless masses were too bored, or itching for a fight, Megamind's head was a big blue target. There's no smaller minority on planet Earth, than _one._ Luckily, it was quiet. Roxanne, however, was not herself. She kept shifting in her chair, like she was uncomfortable. Was this what their sexual education class had revealed to him in middle school? Had she begun menstruating?

 

It was disgusting, but from an academic perspective, fascinating. An internal and automatic factory. Megamind had toyed with the idea of self-building robots, a huge swarm of interconnected artificial intelligences. He could appreciate when nature had some insights to share on the subject.

 

Perhaps it wasn't a biological or hormonal change in her body. Or at least, not her period. Roxanne was none-too-subtly watching one of the slowest and least interesting specimens of humanity, a quiet library type who didn't just read comic books, he lived in them. He'd rejected the outside world and didn't care for anyone in it. Megamind had evaluated him as an ally against bullying, but bullies just didn't _care_ about this kid.

 

In his defence, he was white, middle-class, and more or less invisible. Basically, he was the polar opposite of Megamind, in many ways. Not his ideological opposite, like Metro Dude, but still, he was different.

 

What did Roxanne see in him? Did he have some kind of secret?

 

Minion had his own opinions, in-between classes. “I think she's sweet on him,” he said.

 

“As if.” Megamind was hearing none of it. They continued stalking her as she stalked Bernard along the corridor to the science labs.

 

“But Sir, I thought you didn't like it when she spent time with Metro Dude. If she's with this guy, then...”

 

Minion was heckling him, a pastime that Megamind endorsed with vigour on most days. However, this was not most days, and Roxanne was not most topics. “Minion. One more word on the subject, and I will kill you.”

 

“Understood, Sir.” Minion was far too bright and chirpy for a fish that was nearly fried. Megamind briefly took his eyes off Roxanne and glared at Minion, who was still grinning as sunnily as he could with all those sharp teeth.

 

“You skate on thin ice, my friend.”

 

“Well, I was just trying to break some of it,” Minion shot back. “You haven't really been _here_ , today.”

 

“I'm thinking,” Megamind lied as he watched Roxanne sit down one bench behind and to the left of the boy. Predictable. He nodded to Minion, and they slid into the desk immediately behind Roxanne.

 

There had been a time, long ago, when their teacher had unlocked the cupboards at the back of the room, and they had performed basic experiments with chemicals. That had been, of course, before the incident with Metro Dude's beaker.

 

What? Why, you ask? Bad guy, _duh._ Megamind had class. He had _style_. They had never been able to find any evidence that he'd been involved, but of course, they had reasonable suspicions, which was why nobody in his entire grade was allowed to mix chemicals anymore.

 

He steepled his fingers and watched the back of Metro Dude's head like a hawk. Roxanne wasn't doing anything remotely interesting, just taking notes and staring at that dweeby guy with all that hair. Science class was Megamind's home turf, and he couldn't afford to slack off, even if the peroxide was locked up.

 

Lunch was lunch, as usual. The cafeteria wasn't bad, but it cost money, and safety in numbers hadn't ever really worked for him. They did what they usually did. They ate their lunches quickly in a deserted classroom, randomised for increased security, then headed straight for the library. There weren't any computer terminals in the group house, and one of those glorious beauties had an ethernet connection. Sometimes, Roxanne or one of the other newspaper study-group types kicked them off, but four days out of five, Minion and Megamind would get a good half hour of blissful connectivity.

 

There were others out there in that wide world, people who didn't like puppies and rainbows, people who liked music that wasn't pop, and even people who didn't like Metro Dude.

 

Sadly, half an hour wasn't enough time to download a whole mp3, but Megamind had a floppy disk full of midi files, recreated from bands that he was sure he'd like if he heard them live. Sadly they were also the most commonly shoplifted, which meant that they were kept under close surveillance.

 

Megamind thought about their secret lair, an abandoned factory in the industrial district. He thought about their stolen boom box and their single copy of _For Those About to Rock, We Salute You_.

 

Perhaps, a disguise was in order, or maybe abject hopelessness. “Minion, why is it that the more things come within our reach, the worse I feel?”

 

Minion thought about it. “Perhaps it's the inherent inequality in the system, Sir? Or the unfulfilling nature of a material society.”

 

“Why did I even ask?”

 

“Er, we could break something and then fix it again, sir? Get out of Gym free pass?”

 

Megamind sighed. “No, Minion. Exams are coming up. That would be an act of kindness to the lazy lolling masses. It might even earn some an extension on their homework. No. I shall just have to suffer through it… the pain and humiliation of this life.”

 

“Sir, you appear to be angsting again,” Minion said, as if he were ready to rattle off a list of common human ‘teenage’ symptoms.

 

Megamind sighed again. “You're right. Let's go outside and, I don't know, kick some puppies.”

 

They didn't find any puppies, so they settled for writing dirty words on the back of the sports equipment shed with sharpies. It was anonymous, it was a victimless crime, and it usually led to Metro Dude offering selflessly to scrub it all off again. It was funny to watch him doing it, so what could it hurt?

 

The football team was practicing on the other side. It almost stirred a poet's soul inside him, their uniforms, their imprisonment within a system, his old orange uniform, the way that one system fed into another and back in, like a snake eating its own tail. None of the boys on the football team ever ended up in juvenile detention. None of the boys in juvie _ever_ got picked for a sports team. Where did it end and begin? At what point in your life were you written off?

 

Megamind could pinpoint his own moment. He knew who to blame, and he knew just how sweet revenge tasted. He knew his place in the world, the limits and the boundaries of it. He felt some pity, even for the jocks. They were so oblivious to the invisible walls that trapped them, their small minds, their smaller life stories, their anguish when they tried and failed, to change their fates.

 

“Sir, that's genius!”

 

Megamind looked at the hilarious joke he'd just written. Too... many syllables. He sighed, and waved a hand. “Wipe it off. We can't leave anything too incriminating here. Write it down. I'll save it. My day will come.”

 

Behind the equipment shed, nobody looked at you funny if you practiced your evil laugh.

 

In the end, they skipped the last two classes for the day. Megamind knew exactly how many truancy marks he could afford. He knew which teachers would mark him present, as thanks for his continued absence from their classrooms. It was a truce, of sorts. When he headed back to his locker with Minion, it was hardly his fault when he happened to spy Roxanne Ritchi saying her goodbyes to Metro Man.

 

“Like _hell_ I do!”

 

She stormed off. Oh, wow. That was interesting. _Fascinating_. He'd have to get to the bottom of this situation. Trouble in paradise? Oh, say it isn't so! His toes nearly curled in anticipation.

 

“Let's follow her,” Megamind said.

 

“Right you are, Sir,” Minion replied, with only a little bit of a long-suffering sigh.

 

Which was how they ended up, somehow, in the library helping Roxanne Ritchi study Calculus. And by study Calculus, he meant, ‘pretend not to be staring at that boy’. There was something hard, tight, and red hot in Megamind's chest. It made him feel sick. Or maybe that was just the sandwiches. Bread, bread, and bread wasn't the healthiest of diets.

 

They ended the day with a walk home along the sidewalk. They talked about shoplifting and which models of which cars were the easiest to break into. They argued about whether or not an entire bag of frozen peas, microwaved, counted as a balanced breakfast. They did not talk at all, about their new arrangement, or the fact that for the next week, every night, they were going to be tutoring Roxanne Ritchi in the library.


	5. Megamind Unmasked

Paired work in History. Roxanne took the window of opportunity to slide into the spare seat beside Bernard, flipping her books open. “Looks like it's you and me, huh?”

 

“Like I need your help,” he said.

 

Roxanne blinked. Wow. Okay. Everyone was a little bitchy in high school. She needed to earn his trust. “Never said you did. So, is there any topic you'd like to work on?”

 

She tried to remember what they'd been up to, what kind of cramming she needed to do for the history exams, what she'd written her essay on.

 

“Does it even matter, at this point? This pointless busywork is just a distraction.” He turned away from her and pulled out his notepad. In it were sketches of Metro Dude and Superman. Roxanne sighed and smiled as bravely as she could. She found her page in the textbook and began reading.

 

She offered to carry his books for him between classes. She asked him about comics and which ones would be good for a beginner. She asked him about whether or not he felt that the library should charge for overdue books or start a reserve collection so that students couldn't lock up vital resources so close to exams.

 

He sighed, shoulders slumping even lower, and he let the fire doors swing shut in her face as he entered the lunchroom. She reeled back, narrowly saving herself from a flat nose. She rushed to catch up to him in the line, only three spots behind him as he paid and made his way to a table. She set her tray down across from him firmly and tried to wear her most patient kind smile ever. Inside, she was breaking a little. It was like there was no trace of the man she'd been growing so fond of.

 

Bernard sighed and turned away from her. He opened his book and proceeded to ignore her, _expertly,_ in fact. Roxanne sat her chin on her hand and stared down at her lunch. She had no appetite. She had never thought that trying to be nice to someone you genuinely liked would be so hard. Was she just a failure as a friend? Or had Bernard gone through some kind of transformation later in life? Perhaps he just had a lot of growing up to do. College changed some people a lot. Moving out changed people. Facing over a decade of terrorism from an evil supervillain changed people, too. Maybe now wasn't their time, and that's why she'd never noticed Bernard at school.

 

It was getting harder and harder for Roxanne to hang on to her memories of the future. What he had looked like? How he had smiled? How open his big green eyes looked?

 

Wait, _green?_

 

Roxanne jumped up and moved around to stare at Bernard once more. Not green. It was Bernard, but it wasn't _her_ Bernard. What did that _mean_ _?_ Had the reset button failed? Had she been shunted off into an alternate reality? Was it some kind of punishment? You get to re-do things, but you can never get what you want?

 

No, that was a little too... fictional. Reality didn't work that way. Reality didn't punish you, it was just _punishing_. Roxanne could find a way around this, if she just put her mind to it. She'd find her real green-eyed Bernard, and she'd be there for him. She'd save Bernard, and she'd save Metro Man. That was just how things were going to be.

 

Bernard rolled his eyes and shoved her away. “Get out of my face.”

 

“Fine, fine.” Roxanne said. “I can tell when I'm not-”

 

Suddenly, she heard him. His voice. _Her_ Bernard. She'd know that cry of excitement and joy anywhere.

 

“Oh! Oh, you _fantastic_ fish, you!” That was definitely Bernard, except it wasn't Bernard as she knew him.

 

Roxanne had gone to see a film in 3D once. She hadn't liked it very much, but that had more to do with getting kidnapped right afterwards. She had worn the gimmicky glasses and she'd gotten a headache. She'd read the news online when they'd first been released; she'd learned how they worked. Depth is produced by _both_ your eyes processing slightly different images of the world around you. Your brain fits the ideas together. It triangulates. It tells you how far away it thinks things are.

 

Without looking, two images overlapped in Roxanne's mind. Bernard's wide green eyes and Megamind's furrowed eyebrows above narrowed eyes that were just as green. Hearing his voice like that had made everything become clear. Depth perception. Stereo vision. She had _never_ known Bernard. Somehow, Megamind had assumed his identity, disguised himself as a normal human being. He had been playing the long con with her. He had even been cleaning up the city, returning the paintings he'd stolen, faking reparation. No wonder there hadn't been any noise, any sign between Megamind disappearing and Bernard appearing in the Evil Lair. Her instincts had been spot on. Bernard _had_ been dangerous. Whatever he'd had planned for her before she'd pushed that button, it had to be awful.

 

It felt awful enough as it was. She couldn't breathe. Her heart ached in her chest. Her eyes burned. She ducked her head down, grabbed her bag, and walked as fast as she dared to the nearest bathroom, where she proceeded to cry her heart out. She'd never _loved_ anybody before Bernard. She'd never had the time. She'd never felt that kind of trust or delight. He'd been so _smart_ , and so _nice_ , and so _funny_. He had a _job_ as demanding as hers, and he’d still made time for her, no matter what day of the week it was.

 

All right, so in hindsight, that was far less sweet, because she sincerely doubted that Megamind had bothered to show up for Bernard's shifts at the Museum, or... wherever archivists went when things were blown up. Still, she felt the _loss_ of this person who had never existed, and all she could do was grieve.

 

She couldn't even get angry or even with Megamind, because the man who had _done_ this to her was a decade and a half away from her. The version of him that she _could_ talk to was younger. This boy had _never_ killed anyone. He'd never drugged her or kidnapped her. He'd never set the stadium on fire, and he'd never hacked Metro Tower's antenna to transmit educational documentaries on engineering across every free to air channel in the county. He'd never tied her to a wooden board and put her on a conveyor belt moving towards a rusty saw; he’d never threatened her with anything substantial, nothing that could _kill_ her.

 

‘Her’ Bernard had never existed.

 

Screw school. She was going home.

 

She cried until everything was out, nose running and face turning a blotchy pinkish red. She sat with her back against her bedroom door, keeping it shut, because she didn't have a lock, and her mother was worried. How could she _not_ be? Roxanne was still, as far as she knew, a kid.

 

She hadn't lived with her mother in years, and she _resented_ the comfort that she attempted to give. In the end, despite it all, Roxanne found herself wrapped reluctantly in a fluffy dressing gown with a mug of hot cocoa and an insipid romantic comedy on the television.

 

“Can we watch the news instead?”

 

Her mom hugged her. “Of _course_ we can.”

 

“This movie’s my favourite, but I've seen it a thousand times now.” Plus, it was pretty pathetic when you'd grown up and had actual relationships with actual people.

 

“Romance is for babies,” her mom agreed.

 

It was like she'd learned the script for empathic parenting when Roxanne was five, and it hadn't changed since then. Ugh. But her mother didn't know that she had a thirty-something brain in her teenge body, and there was something to be said for being mothered. The cocoa was nice, and it was nice being taken care of. It was actually helping with the rage inside Roxanne's chest.

 

She still couldn't let go of Bernard, in her heart. She'd known him. She'd liked him a lot. He was coming close to the best thing that had ever happened to her. Why had Megamind had to go and ruin everything?

 

The news reported on the weather, Chechnya, the acquisition of KMCP media by Metro Industries. They were all little things that Roxanne hadn't noticed as a teenager, but revealed so much to an informed adult. How had she _never_ seen it all? The Scott family had been slowly buying up little pieces of the banks, the media.

 

However, right now, she _wasn’t_ an informed adult. There was no guarantee she'd ever get back to herself. Her mom was looking at her expectantly. Her cocoa was going cold. She put the future aside and stopped worrying about it. She stopped avoiding the truth.

 

“I liked someone,” Roxanne said. She didn't want to lie to her Mom. “He didn't turn out to be who I thought he was.”

 

“Oh, sweetie.” Her Mom pressed a warm, comforting hand to the top of her head. “It feels awful, doesn't it?”

 

“Yeah, it does.”

 

Bernard was the only imaginary person Roxanne would miss more than life itself, she was sure of it.

 

 

Roxanne knew she should confront him, demand his help, try to get back to the future, but there was no guarantee that a teenage Megamind had the knowledge to hold a candle to his future skills. Wearing Bernard's face, he'd said that the physics were impossible. There was a chance that she'd triggered a prototype, a faulty machine. There might not be any going back. There was also the problem of Metro Dude.

 

Oh, if she had a choice she would go back, she would try to salvage the present that she’d been living in rather than risking changing the past. She didn’t know what to do all on her own. Even if Bernard had never been real, he'd been an illusion of friendship. Roxanne felt all alone now.

 

Roxanne Ritchi wasn't a hero, but she sure as hell couldn't stand the thought of giving up and letting Metro Man die. She had to talk some sense into him! She decided she _would_ confront Megamind, but that she'd take a week to get there. She would work through her feelings about Bernard before talking to Megamind, so that her anger wouldn’t twist her words. As dumb as it sounded, it wasn't _fair_ to Megamind to bring all her emotional baggage to a fight with him.

 

It wasn't like he'd done anything wrong yet. Roxanne had very strong feelings about fairness and justice. She wasn't about to change her values, even if it would make her feel better to yell at him.

 

All of her plans soured in her stomach as she remembered their deal together. Calculus. The library. Megamind, and Bernard.

 

She tried to catch Minion's eye in English, but her seat was too far from his, and so she had to keep that sinking feeling inside herself, dreading the afternoon. She had to study with them, because she needed to get into college, and that meant getting a passing grade.

 

She couldn't hide how uncomfortable it was, to approach what had basically become 'their' table in the library. Megamind had begun to smirk when he first saw her, but by the time she'd set her books down, he was frowning with sincere concern.

 

She wished she didn't recognise the expression. Part of her expected him to try to lighten the mood with a slightly socially awkward joke and a little half-shrug, but he wasn't putting any act on for her. He wasn't himself, as she knew him, whatever face he wore. He cleared his throat, as she pulled her chair out.

 

"Don't like the scenery?"

 

She blinked at him, until she realised what he meant. She wasn't watching Bernard like she usually did. She should have guessed that Megamind would notice. "Huh? Yeah. It was a case of mistaken identity. Look. About all this..."

 

He nodded. "I understand completely. This place closes too early, and the clientele is far too mainstream."

 

She nodded, and picked up her things again. "Sorry," she said.

 

"Not at all. Just lead the way, and we can resume our cram session in a more suitable location."

 

She rolled her eyes and was glad that Minion was there to give him a look of total disgust. "Where do you suggest?" She had to do it, she didn't have to like it, or to make it easy. She was going to make him work for anything she told him about Metro Dude.

 

"Er..." He _really_ didn't get out much.

 

"The public library? My place? Your place? A coffee shop? There's only so many places in the area, that have chairs and these flat surfaces that I like to call tables." She gestured with her hands, in case he didn't quite understand what they looked like.

 

"I _know_ what a table looks like! Genius, remember? I'd like to see _you_ draw one. I'm not the one who's so far behind in math that she can't get with the times!"

 

They made it all the way down the corridor and out the doors before the pun made sense to her. She groaned. "Oh. Oh, that's bad. That delivery was way off. How could you even _make_ a joke that stilted? Times table? Ugh."

 

Megamind brushed his fingers against his shirt collar. "I'm practising my banter."

 

Somehow, knowing that was worse than thinking that he was just a natural at it. It would have been cute in a dorky way, if it had been possible for a jerk like Megamind to be cute.

 

Being in the public library was unnerving. The last time she'd been in it, she'd been fifteen years in the future and laughing at Bernard's jokes. She picked a different table, just to get some distance from those memories, and spread her notes out. While she waited for Megamind to check what she'd tried at home by herself, she skimmed back over some things.

 

"I'm not that bad at it, am I? Never mind. I am. I _am_ that bad at it.”

 

“You just haven't studied, is all,” Minion said kindly.

 

“Yeah. It feels like I haven't studied it for fifteen _years_.”

 

Megamind frowned and tapped his finger on a page. “That's an oddly specific amount of time. Anyway, you're making progress, which proves that your brain is capable of storing this information. You just need to apply yourself more.”

 

Roxanne pinched the bridge of her nose. “I just need to crawl into a hole and die, and then come back to life once exams are over!” She was a teenager, and she was facing exam week. She had license to get a little melodramatic.

 

“Well, you could always turn evil and set the school on fire. I'd be happy to drive your getaway car.” Sarcastic, but he sounded halfway sincere and looked almost hopeful.

 

It was funny because she'd never do that, and she'd never trust him. It was safer to joke about how she'd never destroy the school than it was to talk about things a little more grounded in reality. He'd never spent any time with anyone other than Minion at school. He was capable of things that she wasn't, and a lot of it had to do with their individual situations.

 

She'd never seen it before, how pivotal high school had been for all of them. She could feel the hollow echo of her conversation with Bernard in the park, her wishing she'd been there for him with all her naivety.

 

She looked up at the right moment to catch his gaze. She'd been silent for too long, thinking. He'd fallen quiet, into his own thoughts. He looked naked. So raw, so open, compared to the Megamind she knew. He hadn't been expecting her to notice, from the way his eyes widened when he saw she was watching.

 

“No, that's okay,” she said, trying to hang on to that feeling. “I think that if I turned evil, I'd be more into giant robots and explosions.”

 

She waggled her eyebrows, in case he didn't realise that had been a joke. He snorted and looked up at her from under hooded eyes, like he wasn't quite sure it was _okay_ to be in on the joke. She'd seen that expression on his face, albeit a little pinker and with hair on top. His lips quirked up in a little half-smile, and her heart quirked up right along with them.

 

Maybe she _had_ known Bernard, all along.


	6. Pipeline

It wasn't long until graduation, until prom, until  _ college _ , or whatever other opportunities lay beyond the barrier of Megamind's high school certificate. Not much time was left until he had one more piece of permanent paperwork; at least this one would open doors for him. He wasn't sure how he felt about becoming a member of society, being part of the crowd. He knew he'd never truly fit in. He'd never have truly equal opportunities open to him. If he were to constantly pursue justice, he would be forever disappointed and exhausted. It was a waste of time.

 

Even if she didn't pass Calculus, Roxanne had a long career ahead of her, somewhere. She was brilliant. She'd picked up a lot more than she'd thought she would in the last week. She was fantastic. Her future was so bright by comparison, Megamind felt blinded. Of course, that was only fair; it was a reasonable reaction, he'd lived his life in the shadows. When someone like him looked directly into the sunlight, it was sure to sting.

 

He lay on his back in bed, dehydrating yet another rat, and making a note to add it to the Tupperware container in the corner before the leak in the roof made it humid enough to re-hydrate. His life, honestly. He lived in a dump. He wondered what Roxanne's house was like.

 

Roxanne was amazing, really. The  _ questions _ she asked. Metro Dude's parents  _ owned _ Metro City Prison, the for-profit gifted workshop of criminal genius. She'd figured it out all on  _ her own _ .

 

She knew that Metro Dude's father was Megamind's legal guardian, technically, if you went by the books. It made her  _ angry _ , on his behalf. He wouldn't call her his friend, but there was potential there. A hope he'd thought long crushed swelled in him. It made his eyes feel full and wet. Two friends!  _ Two! _ Oh wow, he was pathetic.

 

Exam week was beginning, and they were all on the edge of the event horizon of life. The prison loomed like a black hole, but he'd gained the velocity to escape a black hole once in his life already. He knew the equations, how it all worked. He could  _ do  _ this.

 

“ Minion, let's go on some kind of gap year, just you and me. Let's find a rusty old car, something we like. Let's turn something dead and lifeless into something absolutely  _ incredible _ .”

 

Minion spun around in his bowl, clapping his hands, the servos whirring and his fingertips cracking together. “Oh, oh! We could explore alternative energy! A silent engine, sir!”

 

Megamind rubbed his chin. “I had been thinking that, yes. If I could power a tricycle with my binky, just  _ imagine _ what we could do with a few miles of wire and some elbow grease!”

 

“ Oh, I can Sir. I can!”

 

Megamind spread his arms out, seeing it in his mind. “The highway stretching out before us. No alarm clocks, no white bread, no peanut butter!”

 

“ No classes!” Minion agreed, in elation.

 

“ No more exams!”

 

“ No more tutoring!”

 

“ Oh,” Megamind said. “Yes. No more suffering in the company of those small tiny minds.”

 

This could also mean no more Roxanne. Maybe. He could have hopes, but he wasn't going to let himself fall into any unrealistic fantasies. No, it was for the best that he not make decisions involving her and where she was heading.

 

“ That's the spirit, sir! Bring on exam week!”

 

It was blissful, really. Everyone else was overtired, stressed, and way too preoccupied with their own pencil cases. Megamind and Minion floated. They sat down, they filled out their papers, they stood up, and they left after the minimum time. The sun was shining outside, and the school grounds were quiet, relaxing. Blissful.

 

Roxanne found them on the grass, which was... unexpected. She looked exhausted, but she smiled and bumped her shoulder against Megamind's as she sat down with them.

 

“ I'm glad that's over,” she said, “and it will  _ never _ happen again. It's the humanities all the way from here on out!”

 

Megamind cleared his throat. “Ah, are you sure you're... sitting in the right spot?”

 

She frowned at him, like she was genuinely confused. It was almost like she was doubting that  _ he _ wanted her company instead of the other way around. What a ridiculous thought. “What, I can't let my tutor know how I did on my exam?”

 

“ Oh, so that's it. Your tutor, I see.” That did make more sense, although the fantasy of having two friends was still floating around in his mind. “I doubt you've got the recall to show me how you actually did, though if you want pointers you can always bring your marked papers...”

 

She rolled her eyes and threw herself back, so she was lying down. She raised a hand to shade her eyes. “Jeeze. Could you drop the ruse, already? You haven't tried to extort me for any more information on Metro Dude, and I'm done with my exams.”

 

“ Ruse?” It was safer to make her say it than to guess and get it wrong.

 

“ We're friends, you idiot.” She kicked him in the shins.

 

He shook his fist at her, and then stared at it like it had acted on its own. “I've never raised my fist in...”

 

“ Joy, sir?”

 

“ Shut up, Minion!”

 

Roxanne laughed, and she looked so happy there that everything felt like a dream. It had to be a dream. It was unreal. It had been impossible such a short time ago.

 

“ So can we go get some ice-cream, or what? I am sick of this schoolyard.” She sounded nonchalant, but a little too relaxed. Her arms were tense, for all that her pose suggested a relaxed young woman at the end of the school year.

 

“ I'm, um… broke,” he said, which was a real shame. Roxanne finally wanted to spend time with him and he didn’t have the cash for it. It would have been nice to go out somewhere.

 

“ Hello, evil?” She laughed, until she realised he wasn't laughing along. “Oh wow,” she said. “The one time I wouldn't care, and you...”

 

“ Sir has to get his academic transcript in order to enroll in college,” Minion explained. “They're watching us pretty carefully, given that we're still legally minors. For a while it was touch and go if we'd even get the chance. Well, I don't. Fish. Kind of hard to get that one past an admissions board, but still. Sir is in with a chance!”

 

Megamind was going to have words with that feckless moron later, words about how embarrassing pity was, especially from someone with a much smaller head and a secure home.

 

“ Okay, so I'll pay. I owe you for all the help you've given me, anyway.” Roxanne put a hand in her pocket and then made a strange face. “Er, if I have any of my allowance left. Whoops.”

 

“ Whoops? No wonder you're terrible at math, if you can't even keep track of numbers that have a tangible presence.”

 

She shot him a scathing glance that made him feel all of two feet tall, and counted what was in her wallet. “I've got enough. I've just got to make sure I don't go overboard. How's the diner near the bus stop sound?”

 

She was serious. Roxanne Ritchi was buying him an ice cream. He ducked his head and mumbled “Fine,” into his chest, but he was sure she could still see his cheeks turn purplish red as he blushed.

 

She grabbed his arm, her fingers feeling warm on his skin as she led him along the street. She wasn't ashamed to be seen with him, and that only made him feel better-worse inside. It was a dream, and he'd probably wake up soon. Any moment now.

 

“ Here we are!” Roxanne nodded, and her hair shifted with the motion, so soft and beautiful. She was so different from him, it was hard to believe.

 

“ Sir? Do you like the menu?”

 

“ We've been here a hundred times before, Minion. You know I do.”

 

Roxanne cleared her throat, and Megamind's eyes chased the corner of a smirk as it faded into a kinder smile. She had depths, such potential. She looked out at the world and saw something real, just like he did.

 

They took their seats, Minion shifting and sliding to fit into the booth. The waitress arrived, looking down at them with a raised eyebrow. Megamind swallowed. There was that look, the one that Roxanne didn't wear around him anymore: judgement and suspicion.

 

“ I'll have a choc-fudge sundae,” he said, to get it over with. Oh, how he hated being stared at, like he was some zoo animal.

 

“ Choc-caramel split,” Roxanne said.

 

“ Just water for me,” Minion said with a smile.

 

The waitress left with another pointed look, and Roxanne winced. “Ugh, sorry. I didn't know they were that rude, here.”

 

Megamind shrugged. What else could he do? “I come in here often enough, so they’re probably just not used to seeing anyone spend time with me. Admit it, when you first met me, it was hard to notice anything but how different I look.”

 

She frowned, but she nodded. “Yeah, I guess so.”

 

“ Hey, it's not that bad. I mean, I could be shaped like an inverted triangle and coloured bright orange.”

 

Roxanne stifled a laugh.

 

“ Or, I could have come out all quiet and dweeby.”

 

That had been supposed to make her laugh, but instead she got very serious looking. She reached out, and took Megamind's hand in her own. “No, you couldn't have. I'm glad you're you.”

 

In a film, this would be where the guy and the girl would kiss. However, also, this would be a time when the guy's pet fish wasn't studiously whistling and tapping his robotic gorilla fingers on the tabletop and turning to look out the window.

 

“ Minion, you're embarrassing me!” Megamind kicked at Minion's foot, but Roxanne squeezed his hands, drawing his attention back to her.

 

“ Megamind. I think I've finally found what I want to do in life.”

 

“ Journalism?” It was a pretty obvious one, but it never hurt to ask.

 

“ Well, yes. But there's something more important to me... In this room.”

 

Megamind felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He'd bypassed hope and joy, and gone straight to the sick feeling. Humour. He had to deflect it, somehow. She was setting him up and he knew it. “I didn't know you liked ice cream that much.”

 

“ I mean you,” she said, an exasperated sigh escaping her lips. “Go to Prom with me.”

 

Minion shrieked, and Megamind pulled his hand back so fast that he knocked his bowl over. With ice-cream melting and dripping off the ends of his fingers, the edge of the table, onto his canvas shoes, he gasped.

 

Roxanne pressed her hand over her mouth, and let out an undignified squeak of laughter.

 

“ I mean, yes. Yes. Of course I will!” he said breathlessly, before she could change her mind. Oh Roxanne, she really liked him! How could it be?

 

A few dozen napkins later, and some long pointless conversations that his brain just coasted through, Megamind was saying goodbye to Roxanne, and Minion was shepherding him home. His head was hitting the pillow, but his heart was up in the clouds. 

 

She'd given him her number. She'd asked him to Prom. For once, the future didn't matter so much. He felt this content, utter peace inside. He didn't think he'd ever felt that way before in his life. It's how he imagined it had felt, as a child, to be held in his parents’ arms and feel safe.

 

Just like back home, peace never lasted long in Metro City.

 

There wasn't much to do after exams, except wander the halls and wait for the school year to be over. The next morning, Megamind was relaxed and off-guard. Roxanne waved and came over to him, the breeze brushed gently through the trees, it was picture perfect. She smiled at him, and punched him in the shoulder. He watched her walk ahead a little, rubbing at the spot. He hoped he'd bruise, so he could remember that moment for a while. Even the looming doors of Metro High couldn't spoil his morning.

 

But then, Metro Dude stepped out from behind them. He had his arms crossed, and he walked past Roxanne without looking at her, grabbing Megamind's shirt roughly. “What the hell have you done to brainwash Roxie?”

 

“ Her name’s  _ Roxanne _ ,” Megamind hissed through his teeth. He could feel his feet leave the ground. Well, crap. Why did he have to be so gangly and thin?

 

“ Metro Dude! Look, I told you, I can't go with you because I've already got a date. Just let it go!” Roxanne shouted, beating her fists against his back.

 

Metro Dude laughed. “Yeah, right. Look, Roxanne. I'm not blind, and neither are you. For you to want to date this guy, he has to have done something to mess with your head. I mean,  _ look _ at him!”

 

Megamind curled his hand into a fist. He looked everywhere for Minion, but with the way Metro Dude was punctuating every word by shaking him, that was a little hard. All he could do was hang there and try not to bite his tongue as his teeth rattled together.

 

“ How dare you?! Put him down this instant!” she demanded.

 

“ Oh, I'll put him down. But first, I'll take him on a nice cozy flight up to the third floor.”

 

“ You wouldn't  _ dare _ ,” Roxanne said, mortified.

 

Roxanne was angry, and on Megamind's behalf. He hung from Metro Dude's fist, throat mostly tight from the choke-hold, but partly from emotion. No one had  _ ever _ stood up for him. Aside from Minion, nobody had ever defended him. It felt amazing for a moment, until what happened next changed everything.

 

Roxanne threw herself at Metro Dude, fist clenched, and Megamind closed his eyes. The fool was going to break her hand, and for what? 

 

Megamind felt himself swung through the air, and heard a sickening crunch. His head spinning, he pushed himself off the ground, and moved towards where he'd seen her last. He fought to focus his eyes on Roxanne's prone body. She was splayed on the grass, a bruise already starting to form on her cheek. Oh no, everything was going wrong. Metro Dude had really  _ hit _ her.

 

Metro Dude ran over, kneeling to gather Roxanne in his arms. He was shaking. Megamind had half a mind to give him something to  _ really _ shake about. Struggling to get up, he grit his teeth as he saw Metro Dude touching Roxanne like he had a right to, even after he’d hurt her like that.

 

Metro Dude swallowed tightly and cast his eyes around. A few of their classmates had been milling around, and they were all paying attention now that something had really gone down. Megamind recognized the look in his eyes, having felt the sickening fear before himself. Metro Dude felt cornered. 

 

"She! I! He made me do it!" Metro Dude spluttered, and it was obviously a poor excuse, but already kids around them were nodding their heads. Teachers spewed out of the building. 

 

People around them were whispering, “He  _ did _ do it. He's  _ always _ causing trouble. We  _ saw _ him. Metro Dude was just trying to  _ help  _ her.”

 

He'd been planning on trying a suit on that night. It wouldn't hurt, to be ready for Prom. But black or orange, in the end, money and fame and power were everything. Poverty and homelessness were nothing. They made you disappear. Talk about the prison to school to prison pipeline.


	7. Resetter

Roxanne had always wondered how that had happened. Her head injury right before Prom. She didn't know why she hadn't thought of it before. It really had been a long time. It still seemed strange. Her Mom and Metro Dude were sitting in her hospital room when she woke up. She closed her eyes, and didn't open them until he had gone.

 

"If he said Megamind did it, he's lying. Metro Dude did it, and I'd like to press charges."

 

There was something else she'd like to press, if she could get her hands on it. Was there a way to control, how far back you reset? Was that the impossibility? Did you simply keep trying, and trying again, and finding that cause and effect was far too vast and varied to possibly predict?

 

“ Oh honey,” her mom said.

 

“ For once, Megamind wasn't even doing anything. Metro Dude was antagonising him. I wanted to help, and instead, I've gotten him landed in prison!”

 

Her mom put a gentle hand on her shoulder. “It'll be okay, sweetie.”

 

“ It won't, not unless we do something. He can't miss graduation! He  _ has _ to graduate! If he doesn’t, his life is going to be one big horrible mess all because of me. We have to call the police!”

 

Her mom sighed and ran a hand over her forehead. Roxanne stared in wonder. She'd never noticed. Her mom had grown her bangs out in her forties, so it had been a while since Roxanne had seen her do it. They had the same nervous gestures, and they seemed to have the same hair. It was oddly comforting, almost like looking into a mirror at her old self.

 

“ It's okay. They're here. They want to take a statement from you.”

 

 

Roxanne wanted to be the one to tell Minion. She took a guess, based on how homely the Evil Lair looked in her future. She was sure she could find her way there. She got herself discharged, and like a total brat, she bossed her mother through the streets. Talk about embarrassing: needing your mother to drive you to the den of all evil.

 

“ Pull up here,” Roxanne said, eagerly. “And wait. I can't show you where it is, but I won't be long. I promise.”

 

“ Sweetie,” her mom said, looking concerned.

 

“ Look, Mom, I'm doing this whether you're here with me, or not. Now please just wait for me here. It won’t be long.”

 

Evil Lair was a little less weedy, and a lot less interesting. It was empty, but there were signs of the uses the space would be put to. There were a couple of panels and consoles, a car, held up on cinder blocks, its engine spread out on a tarpaulin beside it. Minion was there, sitting dejectedly at a chair beside a workbench.

 

“ Minion! It's okay! They're letting him out! First thing tomorrow,” she promised.

 

“ Miss Ritchi!”

 

Roxanne nearly tripped over a bundle of cables, and put a hand out to steady herself. Blinking, she froze. It  _ couldn't  _ be.

 

“ The...  _ reset button?! _ ”

 

Minion raised his finger. “Sorry, the  _ what? _ ”

 

Roxanne crossed her arms. “Megamind's reset button. It's what I pressed, what brought me here!”

 

Minion shuddered. He gasped. He shrunk away from her, in his tank. “I  _ thought _ there was something off about you.”

 

“ Oh, thank goodness. I'd actually be worried, you know? If I honestly came across like a teenage girl.”

 

Minion stepped closer and reached out a hand. He touched her. “You really  _ can't _ tell the difference, can you?”

 

Roxanne was a sharp one. She had a sneaking suspicion that Megamind had used the button himself. “I don't understand. He  _ chose _ this life?”

 

Minion stammered. “M-miss Ritchi! It's, you called it, a reset button?”

 

She nodded. “That's what the label said.”

 

“ Label?”

 

“ More of a post-it, really.” That Minion had put there, oh. Whoops. Had she just created a time loop?

 

“ No, you've got it all wrong. It's not a reset button. The physics for that would be impossible. No, it's something else. It gives the user a glimpse back in time. It's only a short glimpse, but there are some things that are worth that.”

 

Roxanne froze. “How short?” Was she going to disappear, again?

 

“ I can't say for sure. We... haven't tested it yet. We were hoping to stretch it out for as long as eight days.”

 

“ Eight days,” Roxanne said. She rubbed at her upper arms. “So that'd be tomorrow, counting from last Thursday.”

 

Minion smiled unhappily in sympathy. “Quite possibly.”

 

“ How, how will it happen? This seriously isn't a second chance?” Metro Dude would grow up into Metro Man, and he would die. She kind of hated him, right then and there, but she didn't wish him  _ harm _ . Megamind would allow evil to corrupt his heart. He would become a murderer and a liar, a thief. He'd become a villain again, and he'd pretend to be Bernard and sit on a picnic blanket beside her and wistfully dream about the other directions his life could have taken. This was  _ not _ fair.

 

“ I imagine it will be like the way you got here, only in reverse. Ah, Miss Ritchi? May I ask?”

 

“ Ask what?”

 

Minion smiled hopefully. “Well, you came back. Here. For us? You knew how to get in.”

 

Oh, oh god. Minion was a good kid. Fish. A good teenaged fish in a robot gorilla suit. Yep. He seemed to like her. She liked him, he tended to be the voice of reason in their kidnappings. In general, really. He was the good cop to Megamind’s bad cop, if they could really be compared like that, and she didn't have the heart to correct him and break his poor scaly heart.

 

“ When I go back, I'll be standing  _ right here _ .” She looked down. “Oops, little to the right, actually.”

 

Minion looked a little teary, at that. “And you stood up for him? They'll release him in time to graduate?”

 

She had an honest smile for that. “He'll be there, even if I won't. Minion? It's going to be hard. I mean, really hard. It's going to be like this last week never happened, for me. I don't remember anything from... er. Back then.”

 

“ I know. But still, one day, we'll catch up with you.”

 

“ I'll be there all along,” she said, with a shrug. “I have to go. Oh! But tell him. Tell him to write something for the Metro City Herald. Tell him I said I wanted to see high school out with one last great edition.”

 

Minion looked thoughtful. “I'll see what I can do.”

 

Roxanne ruffled her fingers over his gorilla hair arm. “I'll be seeing you.”

 

“ Bye!”

 

Thursday night. Eight days? This would be the end of day seven. She let her Mom fuss over her, she tidied her desk up, did a load of laundry as a gift to her past self, and pulled up the covers. Better safe than sorry, right? Since when had Megamind's inventions matched the description on the box? She closed her eyes, and tried to set aside her worries. What would happen, when she got back, was still a lifetime away.


	8. Prom

_ Note: I haven't got a copy of the comic, so I'm borrowing some dialogue from a couple of pages I've found online, and I hope the rest of this isn't too far from canon. _

 

Fury and vengeance burned within Megamind's soul. He'd always wondered what would happen if Metro Dude did anything truly awful to a human, as opposed to a blue alien and a fish in a robot suit. The result hadn't been anything new. Metro Dude makes the sports team? Megamind goes back to prison. Metro Dude hurts Roxanne Ritchi, one of the only people in Metro City that was worth anything?

 

Megamind goes to prison.  _ Again.  _

 

He supposed that if he'd been in law enforcement, he may have made the same mistake himself. Do you trust the honour student sports hero and Great Guy (TM)? Or the spindly little weird guy who plans to take over the world and spends most of his waking hours in a prison jumpsuit? 

 

They let him out to graduate, though. He didn't need to guess who had argued on his behalf and lessened the sentence. Roxanne herself, beautiful Roxanne, who sucked at mathematical equations, but didn't let that hold her back. Roxanne, who had suddenly started treating him like a real person instead of an unwelcome curiosity.

 

He owed his high school diploma to her, and he'd have liked to owe her more.

 

“ Why not write something for the paper?” Minion suggested, raising his finger and rattling his cuffs against the bar they were anchored to.

 

“ Maybe I already did that,” Megamind said. Honestly. She'd wanted him to. She cared about that school paper like Megamind cared about absolute power. A funny thing to focus your whole life on, but he could appreciate that uncontrollable urge to work on something that mattered.

 

Roxanne liked telling the truth, exposing injustices. Prom was in one day, and he had eight hours to hand in his article, find a suit that fit, and a corsage for Roxanne. It was going to be a busy day, but he could live with that.

 

The bus pulled up outside the school – always the school, never the foster homes or anywhere private – and he and Minion stepped out quietly, humbly. They'd learned that playing it smart just got you sent right back to Warden.

 

They held their hands out, waiting to be freed. In the corner of his eye, Megamind caught a glimpse of Roxanne in blue jeans and a singlet top. He opened his mouth, was ready to say something pathetic like ‘ _ hi’ _ or ‘ _ how's that head wound treating you?’ _

 

To his confusion, she kept walking, not even sparing a glance for him. He watched the ends of her hair flick out as she picked up speed and turned the corner to the front doors.

 

“ Uh Sir,” Minion said, putting a cool metal hand on his arm. “You can put your hands down now, they've gone.”

 

“ So they have, Minion.” Megamind stared at his bare wrists, the ugly orange of the prison jumpsuit. He rubbed absentmindedly at his skin as he tried to figure it out.

 

Maybe something was wrong? Maybe Metro Dude had threatened her?

 

‘ _Maybe she's forgotten all about you, just like everybody else.’_

 

His inner thoughts were always cruel, but more often than not, spot-on accurate. Roxanne wasn't like other people, though. Even if it was early days, he knew enough about her to know she wasn't like that. She wouldn’t do this for no reason, and therefore, something must be terribly wrong.

 

She ignored him, in class. Megamind kept a careful eye on Metro Dude, who was keeping a careful eye on Roxanne. His fingers tightened around his pencil, and his teeth clenched.

 

He finally caught her at lunchtime, in the computer labs.

 

“ Megamind,” she said, crossing her arms and looking at him. Why was she so cold?

 

“ I ah, I wrote something. For the paper. Last edition and all that?”

 

She relaxed, sighed, and shook her head, like she'd been thinking about something else. Then she held her hand out towards him. Even though it was a welcoming enough gesture, the look in her eyes made it seem like a door slamming shut in his face.

 

He reached into his bag and pulled it out. It was handwritten, because he'd been banned from the prison library and had had his computer privileges revoked. She took it from him and raised an eyebrow at the title. He supposed that world domination  _ was _ a very niche interest.

 

“ How's... you know. Your head?”

 

She blinked like she was surprised he'd even asked. “Oh! It's, well, it's better. I still get these headaches, and I don't think I'll ever remember what happened that week.”

 

Ah, there it was. Roxanne  _ was _ better than that, but the universe wasn't. Megamind had never been destined for greatness, and it appeared he had never been destined for love or an easy path through life. It shot through him, the pain; the rage. It wasn't her fault, but for one week –  _ one week _ – he'd had a chance at knowing her as a friend. He wasn't angry at Metro Dude, either, though he should have been. He was angry with her, for liking him enough to go to the prom with him, but not enough to remember him.

 

It made him want to destroy something, himself, most likely. He fought to keep his lip from curling into a sneer, tried to force his tense muscles to relax. Roxanne was worth it. He had to trust her. He had to try, anyway.

 

“ Er, about prom,” he said.

 

“ Ahh... look. You're a – well, you're not a nice guy. But you're not the worst guy in school.” She smiled like she was embarrassed on his behalf. She held her hands up, face earnest and oblivious to the way that she was ripping his last hope to shreds. “But, I'm not going with  _ anyone! _ So(,) it's really not about... you know.”

 

“My colour, yeah. I get it. Whatever.” That was the best he could come up with? Seriously? He dragged his feet as he walked away. She hadn't forgotten any of her other friends. Just Megamind. Just the time that _they_ had spent together and that it had been Metro Dude who had hurt her. He'd been a fool to think that luck would come out on his side, for once.  
_______  
  
Some people really knew how to throw a party. Sadly, none of these people had been invited to the Metro High prom council. Megamind rubbed self-consciously at his wrists, still raw from the Warden's handcuffs, as he entered. There were streamers, tables and tablecloths, the Drama Club's stage lighting and mirrorball. There was a single, seemingly obligatory giant bowl of fruit punch, with plastic cups. Cheese on crackers and chips. Onion dip. All the mod cons that you could afford on a student budget.

 

He supposed that they'd saved up for the after-parties, none of which he'd been invited to.

 

At least the D.J. had marginally better taste than the prom council did. Not by much, but it was something. Even if she wasn't there with him, Roxanne was still  _ there _ , and she looked amazing(,) standing with her friends, Metro Dude nowhere in sight.

 

That wasn’t saying much, given the guy could move faster than light. Megamind only blinked, and Metro Dude was at Roxanne's elbow, looking smooth and slimy. Roxanne turned to him and smiled. 

 

It was an understatement to say that Megamind was completely crushed. He felt this great pain, like a raw bleeding wound when he looked at her. When he looked at Metro Dude, it flared into a burning righteous fury. Of all the things that Metro Dude had taken from Megamind, somehow this mattered most.

 

“Roxanne... What does she see in him?” Was it the muscles? Megamind could get some muscles, he was  _ sure _ of it. 

 

Minion patted him on the shoulder. Ugh. There was nothing worse than looking soppy and stupid and like a third wheel at your own prom in front of Minion, right? Megamind had some pride left.

 

"I see how you look at Roxanne. You're wearing your emotions on your sleeve." Minion meant well, but Megamind didn't want his advice or his pity.

 

"That's no emotion. It's onion dip, so be more careful, will you!" Megamind wiped his shirt sleeve with a napkin, even though there was nothing on it.

 

Minion gave him a knowing look. "It's obvious that you like her. That's all I'm saying."

 

Megamind raised an eyebrow. “And if you keep at it, that's be the  _ last _ thing you say.”

 

Minion was quiet for a bit. He thought about it. “Sir, I think your banter skills are improving this year.”

 

“Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Minion, but if it's all the same I'd like to go sulk ominously by myself.”

 

“I'll, ah, wait for you by the dip, Sir.”

 

Lurking in dark corners was good practice for villainy, right? He wasn't watching Roxanne dance with Metro Dude, he was watching everything  _ but _ Roxanne dancing with Metro Dude. He wasn't looking at her so hard that when he turned around to see her right beside him, he cried out in surprise _. _

 

He recovered quite smoothly, brushing the wrinkles from his suit jacket. "Roxanne, what a surprise it is running into you here."

 

She smirked, and looked sidelong out at the rest of their classmates. "Really? Cause’ I could have sworn everyone from our class was invited. It being the prom and all."

 

He leaned in, pinched his chin thoughtfully between his thumb and his forefinger. "Is that so? Fascinating point you make."

 

She shrugged, like she was laughing along with him, not at him. Their eyes met, and  _ pain? _ _ What _ pain? Stupid hope was rearing its head again. Nothing good could come out of this.

 

She smiled more genuinely at him, stepping closer. "By the way, I've been meaning to talk with you."

 

She had? He blinked. “You have?" He didn't have words for the feeling that curled in his stomach.

 

Roxanne was all earnest eyes. Her full attention was on him. “I read your latest op-ed for the school paper, and while I don't agree with the subject matter...."

 

"World domination can be a polarizing subject." He could allow that it wasn't everyone's cup of tea. He squashed that feeling in his stomach down, stifled it. Prepared to walk away – or run, if she had alerted the authorities.

 

She didn't seem concerned, though. In fact, it was quiet the opposite. She seemed relaxed, happy even. "Nevertheless, I was really impressed with the writing."

 

You could have knocked Megamind over with a feather. He stammered, mostly to cover the sound of his heart hammering in his chest. "Wow. Well....I....I guess....what I mean to say is...."

 

She smiled so brightly, he thought he might need safety goggles.

 

Roxane was gushing,  _ gushing _ about  _ his _ piece. "It's some of the best work I've seen at the Metro City Herald since I joined on as a reporter freshman year."

 

She leaned forwards and put a hand on his arm. "I am really looking forward to reading your next piece." Then she sauntered away.

 

She left him there in a daze. Minion caught up to him, Megamind barely noticed. “I impressed her with my brain, Minion.”

 

Minion patted his arm. “It's very big, Sir.”

 

“No, you don't understand. Even though she disagrees with me on the whole domination and power thing, she said it's still better than anybody else's work.”

 

Minion sighed. “I heard the first ten times, Sir.”

 

It didn't really matter where life took them after graduation. It didn't matter that Roxanne stood on a stage beside Metro Dude. Prom King and Prom Queen, sure. But that was just for the Prom, and there was  _ so _ much more to come in life.


	9. Bernard

Roxanne woke up in the lair, with her head in...  _ Bernard _ 's lap. Okay wow, that was weird. She groaned and raised a hand to her head.

 

“ Roxanne? Are you all right?”

 

“ I'm... fine. Okay, so. Seven days.”

 

His eyes widened. “Where did- I mean, what  _ happened _ ?!”

 

Roxanne rolled her eyes and pushed herself upright. Megamind put his hands gently on her shoulders, supporting her. It was kind of touching. It was kind of creepy. She was kind of  _ pissed _ .

 

She got up and rubbed at her neck. When she looked around, aiming for a view of anything but Megamind's peachy-pink clone of Bernard's face, she caught Minion looking out at her from behind a ladder. She raised a finger to her lips. Not yet.

 

“ I don't know,  _ Bernard _ . What happened to  _ you?” _

 

He blinked and looked suspiciously innocent. “I don't know what you mean by that, Roxanne.”

 

“ Oh, spare me the lies. What did you build that for?”

 

“ Me? Me, build  _ that? _ But we're in  _ Megamind's _ Evil Lair.”

 

“ Ugh. I know it's you. Come  _ on,  _ Megamind.”

 

His eyes widened. “Roxanne?!”

 

“ I just spent a week back in high school.”

 

He raised a wondering hand to his lips, before gasping dramatically, pointing at her. “The week you stalked that  _ dweeb! _ I remember! I mean, what?! Why?!”

 

She put her hands on her hips. “That  _ dweeb _ was Bernard. I thought he was  _ you _ . Could you... could you take that off, now? It's weird, talking to you like this.”

 

Megamind looked completely surprised. He raised a tentative hand to his wrist. “How did you know?”

 

She couldn't hold back a smirk. “You honestly think you could hide your  _ winning _ personality with a suit and a new colour palette?”

 

He snorted and twisted something. His watch face. An electric light flashed, like it was re-drawing reality, and then Megamind was standing there before her. “I guess it was a bit of a giveaway that I never changed my clothes.”

 

“ A bit,” she said. She was  _ never _ going to tell him that she'd been too busy looking at his eyes to even notice that. “So, you owe me. Why did you build that thing?”

 

“ When I was eight days old, my home planet was destroyed. My parents placed me in an escape pod with Minion. As far as I can tell, we were the only two who made it off my planet alive.”

 

Eight days. Oh god, eight days. She'd thought that was a very specific length of time. “It worked?”

 

He shrugged, and tried to be nonchalant. “I'm honestly not sure if it was a good idea for a boy on the cusp of adulthood to lie powerless in his own  feces as he watched his entire species perish.”

 

“ So they were pretty nice people, then,” she said. “Your parents.”

 

His eyes looked a bit wet. “They were incredible.”

 

“ It sounds like it.” What was she, an idiot? He hadn't said anything  _ about _ them.

 

“ So, you don't hate me, then?” He was trying to change the topic. All right, fair enough. She wasn't really ready to re-hash the week she'd had, herself. Some things were best left in the past, after all.

 

“ I'm not trying to change the topic,” he said, “but we  _ do _ have a reservation.”

 

She took a few steps back. “Ohhh no, mister.”

 

“ But, you saw me back then! You  _ liked _ me!” He sounded offended, upset, as if one of his dearest friends had turned on him. Which, okay, point made. But she'd only had  _ moments.  _ He'd had  _ years _ .

 

“ You lied to me! You kidnapped me! You threatened my life, you  _ killed _ Metro Man! I'm afraid it's going to take me more than five minutes to deal with the rest of it.”

 

He had flinched away when she'd raised her voice, but he moved towards her, curious, at her last words. “Rest of it?”

 

She sighed, and crossed her arms. “Well, Wayne was an asshole. And looking back, yeah, I can see how everything escalated. Why you've made the choices you have."

 

She thought about it. He was listening, which was a nice change. It gave her the space to think some more.

 

“ That short time, when I was trying to be there for Bernard, and he wasn't  _ you _ , that was hell for me. I can't imagine what it was like for you, to get out of prison, go to Prom, and have me suddenly  _ not _ know you.”

 

“ It was still you,” he said, but his eyes were wide, and his mouth was open. “I...  _ missed _ you, for all these years, and I didn't even know  _ why _ .”

 

She sighed and ran her fingers through her bangs. “This is fucked up. You should really put some kind of I don't know, cover, on that thing. Get rid of it. Destroy it.”

 

“ I'll do that,” he said, voice thick in his throat. “Right away. Do you want Minion to drive you home?”

 

“ Oh, no, no, no, no! That's not what I meant, when I said I didn't want to go to dinner. I meant, we can't really talk like this, out there. I wouldn't be talking to  _ you _ .”

 

His eyebrows were very expressive. Kicked puppy is what she'd have called it, if she was in a better mood. Some mix of hope and pain and disbelief.

 

“ We could maybe, order pizza?”

 

She smiled, and her heart lightened when he tentatively smiled back.  “ Sure, I'd like that.”

 

She felt a little shaky, honestly, like she’d been sucked through a wormhole, which was close to the truth. She let Minion show her to a couch, while Megamind used his... Bernard's? A  _ phone _ , to call and order some pizza. He sat down beside her, nodding though the store obviously couldn't hear a  _ gesture _ , and that made her think, wow. How had he looked when on the phone with her? Some kind of adorable, she was sure. Goofy.

 

“ Supreme okay?”

 

“ Huh?” She blinked. “Yeah, fine.”

 

“ Two supremes and a garlic bread. Pickup.” He hung up, flipped the phone shut, grinned at her.

 

“ Is that even your phone?”

 

He shrugged. “Evil,” he explained.

 

“ Where is Bernard, anyway?” He frowned, and dug around in his... wait, his body suit had pockets? No. Okay. Utility belt. A pouch. Phew. She'd been very confused by that. He pulled out a bright blue cube, and held it aloft between two long fingers.

 

“ Oh, you  _ didn't _ .” She laughed, she  _ had _ to. Poor Bernard. Oh, but he was probably happier as a cube than dealing with guests at the museum. Which did not exist anymore, because Megamind had blown it up.

 

He laughed with her, but as her horror grew, she could see it reflected in his eyes, too.

 

“ I can't believe you haven't left,” he said.

 

“ Well, I've had a few days to get used to the idea, of all this. You being you. It's going to be really weird, but it's also going to be okay.”

 

“ Sir? Miss Ritchi? I'll just be going for the pizza.”

 

Roxanne twisted around to see. What disguise Minion would use. So she'd know if she saw him on the street.

 

He... wasn't wearing a watch. He had strapped a fanny pack around his waist, and from it, he pulled out a fabulously long brown wig, and a pair of aviator sunglasses, which he looped over two protruding grid vents in his bowl, that were not really at eye-level.

 

“ That,” she said, “is your disguise?”

 

“ I know, it's amazing, isn't it?” Megamind put a hand on her shoulder. “He's got a real way with costumes.” 

 

“ Back in a few.” Minion bobbed in his bowl and hopped into the car.

 

Roxanne settled back down in the couch. “You don't honestly think he'll pass unnoticed like that, do you?”

 

Megamind gasped. “Roxanne! I'll have you know, I have every faith in Minion's abilities. Also, the car  _ is _ invisible, and the staff at the local pizza place  _ are _ college students. They're probably on drugs or thinking about their mid-terms.”

 

“ I can never tell if you're joking or being painfully sincere.”

 

“ Get to know me better, and maybe you'll find out.” He smiled, and it was the smile she'd seen a thousand times on Bernard's face, but it looked different on his. A little colder, a little sharper. Older and less naïve. It made butterflies dance in her stomach.

 

“ Well that is the idea, what with me not running screaming and all, yes.” She had to look at his eyes, to make sure he'd got the joke. Oh, it was so awkward. But he was laughing, and looking more at ease with every second. She knew how to talk to him. They'd been practically  _ dating,  _ right? Still were, she supposed. She wasn't sure if it counted.

 

“ To be honest, I'm not sure that I want to see anyone running from me, or screaming, in the near future. I'm beginning to seriously re-think what it all means.”

 

Everything began falling into place. It was pretty huge. The days in the library. That first night at the museum. What was a villain, without a hero? All this time, he'd been trying to figure it out.

 

“ What does it mean?” She glanced at his wall of notes.

 

“ Well, I thought, perhaps. I might need a new hero. Someone to fill the void that Metro Mahn had left in my life. Now, I'm not so sure. Sometimes, I think the whole thing was a sham. Being evil. An excuse, to justify trying to score points against an old schoolyard bully. I never saw that I had become the bully instead.”

 

“ You weren't a bully.”

 

The expression on his face was so serious, so offended, she choked on her laughter.

 

“ You weren't, though! It was more like, like...” Like what? She felt very strongly about it, but she hadn't read half of Bernard's books on Megamind's life, and she couldn't put her finger on it.

 

“ Like I was seeking attention? Like I was just casting myself as a villain to fit into society, in some strange way? I sure as hell  _ wasn't _ doing it to make Metro Mahn more heroic, no matter what that dweeb in the turtleneck thought!”

 

“ Oh, we don't like Bernard, then, do we? I was going to say, it was more like you were trying to show off for me. Re-enacting that day at school, the way that everyone else saw it. Waiting for me to stop it, to tell everyone what had really happened, and when I didn't, you got lost in it...”

 

He wouldn't meet her eyes. “I decided to be the Bad Guy long before I met you,” he said.

 

“ Yeah. And I decided to be a hairdresser in elementary school. Also a Dino Rider.”

 

He laughed, but turned a little towards her again. “You don't hate me for being evil all these years?”

 

“ I like you. Don't pretend you don't know that.”

 

He ducked his head, the tips of his ears glowed a little redder. “Okay.”

 

“ As for who you are now? I can't tell you that. I was there. I don't think you knew about the copper. I don't think either of us thought it was real when he died. I think that better men than you have killed innocents, and I'd never think twice about the ethics of it. But it's you, and it was Metro Man...”

 

He sighed. “We travelled together, the sole survivors of our civilizations, our species. We were both sent here, to this city. I hated him, truly hated him. The mere fact that he looked just like you humans put him at  _ such _ an advantage, but now… I feel like I've committed genocide. I feel like I've lost my reason for living. We were the only ones… the only ones,” he trailed off.

 

Roxanne couldn't do anything other than put an arm around his shoulders. It was surprisingly easy, to match her body alongside his, to touch his skin with her fingertips.

 

“ You have Minion, and you have me,” she said. He nodded. He brushed his leather gloved fingers across the back of her hand on his shoulder.  “ You've gotten yourself a library card. You've learned to ride a bike. You've gone to the park. Life keeps going on, in small doses. You’ll get through this.”

 

He swallowed tightly. “You've lost someone too, then,” he said.

 

“ Both my parents. A car accident.”

 

He held her hand, tightly. “It must hurt more, if you knew them. If they raised you, for so long.”

 

She wasn't sure that it did. “Maybe. Nothing hurt more than meeting the most amazing guy on the planet, falling for him, and then discovering that he was an evil genius who wanted to bring my entire city to ruin.”

 

He nodded. “Okay, you got me.” His voice sounded broken, dead.

 

“ Hey,” she squeezed him, hugged him a little tighter. “I didn't say that you weren't still the most amazing guy on the planet.”


	10. No more heroes any more

Life was good. It goes to show, sometimes all that you need is a change of perspective. A bit of time to let old wounds heal. Megamind had added the “reset” button and the pellet of Metro Man's power infusion to the vault of bad ideas. It was where they kept all of the things that Roxanne had said “Nope” to during the day that she dubbed the ‘Sane Persons Audit of the Evil Lair.’

 

The problem with the manslaughter charges still lingered. It probably always would. He had pulled back from governance. Roxanne had lent him a marvellous book,  _ The Banality of Evil _ , which proved for once and for all, that you didn't need a super villain to have a city run by evil. If you just left the bureaucracy to itself, evil would rise through the ranks and bob on the top like an oil slick in a pristine water system. Also, evil was pretty boring, when you got down to the specifics.

 

In fact, a lot of Megamind's most evil devices were very useful in their new role. As long as the local law enforcement officers were too timid to approach him, as long as no super heroes like Metro Man rose to challenge him, he could more or less live in peace. It wasn't anything he'd ever experienced.

 

Lying in the deserted park, within a perimeter of brain bots, a checkered picnic blanket beneath him, he let his mind drift. He was writing a book, of all things, in his down time. He had a lot of that. Sure, Minion went out with him for the occasional robotic death-match in the countryside, but he'd spend just as much time alone as with Minion, finding the silent parts of the city, feeling concrete scarred from past battles. Rough beneath his skin. Twisted metal, and boarded-up windows. People had finally begun to fix things. Pick up the pieces.

 

Roxanne said she thought that Metro Man's death was the best thing that had ever happened to Metro City. People were banding together, really connecting with their communities. Finding out just how vulnerable they were, on the coastline. How precious life truly was. No one was waiting for or counting on rescue anymore.

 

Megamind sincerely doubted it, but he couldn't deny that Metro City was changing. He'd even caught glimpses, though only that, of teenagers wearing black leather, studded wrist-guards. All his life, he'd written Metro City off as a haven of pop-loving, country-singing, mainstream, cardboard cut-outs. But there was a lot beneath that surface. There were more people in Metro City than the ones who'd shown up in City Hall Square on Metro Man Day.

 

The sun was nice on his skin. The breeze was nice in the leaves above him. He was thinking, of getting into some organised crime. Paperwork. Something respectable. He'd buy a bigger newer factory. Move on from simple squatting. No wait! A house! An actual house. In the suburbs. Better yet, an apartment block. Ten floors of mechanical mayhem, and a penthouse suite with a view.

 

He heard her coming, but he closed his eyes and let himself drift. Listened to her shoes as she crossed the grass, felt the blanket tug beneath him as she flopped down beside him.

 

“ Sorry I'm late, I had to ditch Hal. Can you  _ believe _ he thought I needed protecting?” 

 

She laughed, and he opened his eyes to see her leaning on one elbow, looking down at him.

 

“ He must have missed my memo. I've got only one rule for Metro City, and that's this. No more heroes. They're outdated. Cliché. Predictable.”

 

She snorted, and lay her head down on his shoulder. He brought his arm up around her side, holding her close.  “ You don't say,” she shifted closer. “So, are we placing a ban on all overused tropes?”

 

He smiled and ran his fingers through her hair. “Oh, I don't know. I think I could stand to allow a few happy endings, here and there.”


End file.
